All Of Me

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 25

Sleep It Off..

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It’s nearly seven when Liam and I make it back to South Lakes on Sunday night. I miss his house already. I was only there for a couple of days, not even a full forty-eight hours, but I want to go back already. I miss Daria’s feistiness, even if she accidentally embarrasses me; I miss Allie welcoming me like I was her own child. 9

“You should come over for Thanksgiving,” Liam says after I express for the hundredth time how happy I am to have met his family.

“I can’t,” I say. “Not actual Thanksgiving day, anyway. Mom’s really big on it, probably even more now that we have stuff to be thankful for. But we have the whole week off, right?”

“Nine glorious days,” Liam says. He sails past the Theta Chi Theta house, then slows. “Hey, d’you want to stay tonight? It’s getting late.”

“Not tonight. Mom’s expecting me home. She wants to hear all about this weekend, and I want to hear about hers too. And Gray’s,” I say. “It’s been a big weekend for the Sovanonos.”

“The … Sovanonos?” he asks, then the wheels turn and the cogs click and his face clears. “Ah. Sovany and Ono. That’s cute.” 12

“That’s Mom,” I say, scrolling through the latest messages in the group chat. Mom has sent a few artsy shots of Tad standing in front of the lake; he has sent some of her. Gray has commented on each one. I snap a photo of the sign that reads South Lakes University and a couple of minutes later, Liam pulls up outside Navya’s house.

I’m reluctant to kiss him goodbye, even though I’ll see him tomorrow and probably every day this week. It’s been such a great weekend, a million times better than I expected, that I don’t want it to end, even though I’m ready for my own bed.

“See you tomorrow,” Liam says, pulling me across the center console for another kiss. “Thanks so much for coming. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I say, only letting go when I have to. Liam doesn’t drive off until Gray emerges from Navya’s house, then he waves and heads back to the frat house. Gray nearly knocks me over with a hug. 1

“Hey! Good weekend?” he asks, and before I can answer he says, “You and Liam are so freaking cute. Those pictures were adorable.” 3

“Amazing weekend,” I say. “His family is awesome. His mom loves me. And thanks.” I push his shoulder. “You and Navya are pretty damn cute.”

He grins. “We are, aren’t we?” He throws me my keys, which he kept safe for me, and hauls his bag onto my backseat. “Nav would have come out but she’s having dinner with her parents. They think I was only over for the afternoon.”

“Ah. Do they know you’re, like, official?”

“Not exactly,” he says with a laugh as we get into the car. “So, Sovanono, huh? D’ya reckon that’s your mom’s way of saying she and Dad are engaged?”

I snap to him, eyes huge. “What?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, I was just wondering. They looked so happy and I didn’t see your mom’s left hand in any of the pictures. I thought maybe they got engaged. Maybe that’s what the trip was for.” 10

“Oh. Wow. I didn’t even think that,” I say, a strange feeling rolling through me. I can’t put a finger on it. It’s not a bad feeling. I just don’t know what it is. Nostalgia, maybe. Time seems to be flying so fast.

“You don’t think they’d tie the knot?”

“Not yet,” I say. “They’ve only known each other for five months.” 5

“I think it’s different when you’re older,” he says. “They’ve both been married before. They know what they want. And they’re, like, always together. They’re totally in love. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got engaged.”

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

The more I think about it, the more I think that I actually wouldn’t be that surprised either. So much is changing these days. Mom and Tad might as well go away for the weekend and get engaged.

“Would you be ok with that?” Gray asks as we merge onto the interstate, suddenly looking worried.

“Yeah,” I say, and I mean it. “I would, actually. Mom really loves your dad. I love seeing her happy.”

“He’s crazy for her.”

“And I love your dad. And I think you’d be an ok brother,” I say, just to tease him. I love the thought of Gray being my brother. And I actually kind of love the idea of Tad being my stepdad, of having a stepdad. I love the idea of our families completing each other. 6

“Excuse me, I’d be a freaking incredible brother,” he says, turning his nose up at me. “On a scale of seven to ninety-eight, how happy would you be for them if they’re engaged?”

“Ninety-eight,” I say. I don’t even have to think.”

“And on a scale of twelve to forty, how good a brother would I be?”

“A hundred,” I say. He grins. 8

“Good answer, Storie. Very good answer.” 3

• • •

We get home just before nine, not yet so late that Mom will have made an effort to stay up. She and Tad are in the kitchen when we get in, and I surreptitiously check her left hand when she’s not looking.

No ring. I’m surprised to feel a little disappointed. After talking about the idea of Mom and Tad getting married pretty much the whole way home, I built up a definite engagement in my head, but I guess they just went away for the sake of a holiday. 6

“You’re home!” Mom leaps up when she sees us, throwing her arms around me and then Gray. I love that she does that, treating him like hers. I know he loves it too. “I missed you guys.”

“I missed you too, Mom,” I say, though I’m not sure I did. I feel bad, even though I know it’s stupid to be guilty about not missing my mom for less than two days. Most people my age have spent months away from their parents. “How was your weekend?”

“Incredible,” she says with a long, happy sigh. “Absolutely incredible. Wasn’t it, honey?” She reaches for Tad’s hand and he joins us with a look of bliss on his face, his fingers laced with Mom’s. 3

“Stunning,” he says, kissing Mom’s cheek, “and the lake was too.”

She blushes. Gray rolls his eyes at his dad’s attempt at being smooth. I think it’s sweet.

“You do look fantastic, Mom,” I say. I can’t believe how good she’s looking. Her new meds have really changed her life. I can see how much more energy she has already; there’s light in her eyes again and a dance in her smile.

“Thank you, honey,” she says, hugging me again. “Speaking of looking fantastic, you and your boyfriend, hmm?” She beams and tucks my hair behind my ears. “He looks like a sweet boy. And very attractive.”

“Mom,” I say with a laugh, but she’s not wrong. “He is. Both.”

Her smile is a ray of sunshine that fills the room better than the overhead lamp. “And how was his house? His family? I want to know everything, honey,” she says, her hand around my arm like she’s holding me here until I spill the beans.

“His family’s amazing. I didn’t meet his dad, but his mom’s so nice, and his sister’s adorable,” I say. “It was a really nice weekend.” For good measure, knowing exactly what Mom wants to hear, I add, “I can’t wait for you to meet Liam. He’s excited to meet you.” 4

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

Her smile spreads to her eyes. I swear for a second her blonde hair looks like a halo. “I can’t wait to meet him,” she says, squeezing my arm tighter. “And Gray, honey, how was your weekend with Navya?”

“Fantastic,” he says, with such a grin that I know I need more details and I’ll get them when we go upstairs. The drive home was mostly occupied by talk of Mom and Tad, peppered with the odd snippet from me, an anecdote about Daria or something that Liam said, but aside from his obvious enthusiasm, Gray hasn’t said much.

After a few minutes of idle catch-up, when Mom gushes about the cabin she and Tad stayed in, the four of us head upstairs. I’ve got used to the two of them heading to the same room. It’s weird how quickly that became normal, to spend more than just mealtimes with Tad.

He stays the night most nights. Pretty much every night. At first it was strange to see Mom’s door closed – she’s always been one to leave it open at night, especially when it was just the two of us – but sometimes when they’re together, the door is shut. 4

I’m not stupid. I know they need privacy. They’re adults; they’re a couple. It was just disconcerting. But sometimes it’s open, and it’s comforting to walk past in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom to see them curled together. Mom’s always the big spoon, wrapped around Tad, and it kills me to wonder how much she missed that. 7

I don’t say a word to Gray but I pull him into my room by his belt loop and sit him down on my bed. He looks up at me with an innocent smile, which soon grows.

“So?” I poke him and sit by his side. “You look like the cat who got the cream. How was your weekend?”

“It was pretty freaking fantastic,” he says, stretching his arms up and then lying with them crossed behind his head.

“And?”

“Do I have to say it, Storie?” He laughs and grabs a pillow, hugging it to his chest. And now I know. I wasn’t sure. But it’s pretty clear what he and Navya got up to.

“You guys did it?”

He purses his lips. “It … may have been done.” 21

“Oh my God!”

“Shush! I don’t need all of Five Oaks to know I lost my virginity!” he cries out, covering my mouth with the pillow and pulling me down. “My dad is right next door.” 19

“Gray! Oh my God! You guys had sex? How was it? When? How?”

He laughs and rolls onto his front with a groan. “Last night,” he says. “We were hanging out with take-out and watching a movie and we were, you know, kissing, and it just kind of … went from there.” 1

I grin and lie back next to him. “As if you had sex. Good thing you had those condoms.”

“I actually forgot to take them,” he says, and my heart skips a beat before he realizes the implication and hurriedly says, “I’m not an idiot. I wouldn’t have, if we didn’t have … we found one, in her parents’ room.” 4

“Oh my God. In date?”

“Again, Storie, I’m not an idiot.” He laughs.

“Was it good?”

“It was … quick,” he says. “The first time, anyway.”

“You little sex kitten,” I say. I’m only the tiniest bit jealous. I don’t care that Gray did it first, but talking about it makes me realize even more that it’s something I want. I’m ready to take that step with Liam, and I know he is too. He’s been ready since the day we met. 16

• • •

Wednesday night is my first closing shift since Friday, the first one since Liam asked me to stay over. I spend lunchtime with him on Monday and Tuesday; on Wednesday, we grab a coffee between classes and when he kisses me and tells me he’ll see me later, I trap a butterfly in my chest and it flutters for the rest of the day. 3

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

Gray, somehow, is spending the night at Navya’s. I don’t know how when her parents are so strict, but I guess they’re just going to risk it. I wouldn’t want to be him if they find out. From the stories Navya’s told me, it’s a wonder she’s still living under their roof.

“Ok, it’s a tricky one,” she says as we close up the store, “because we’re both dead if they find out, but my mom takes an Ambien at nine, so she’ll be knocked out by ten, definitely.” She checks the time. Nearly ten already, and we can’t leave here until a quarter after. “My dad might be difficult.” 1

“Oh yeah?” I take half of the stack of books in her arms, rehousing them alongside her.

“He usually stays up until I’m home, and if he doesn’t then he wakes up when he hears me to make sure I got back ok.” She rolls her eyes and grumbles. “It would be sweet if it wasn’t so annoying. It’s like, Dad, I’m twenty. You don’t need to watch me twenty-four seven.” 7

“You know Gray is the unsneakiest person ever, right?” I take a book from her hand when she looks totally confused by it. Her mind is elsewhere, locked on Gray. “He’s clumsy. Really clumsy.”

“I know,” she says, then she lets out a dirty laugh. I’m not sure I even want to know, and she’s too distracted to even scar me with the mental image of whatever the two of them got up to. “It’ll be fine,” she says after a minute. Gray might just have to wait in my car for a bit or something. I can go in and make sure Dad goes to bed and then Gray can come in. He just has to be quiet. The triplets sleep like babies.” 2

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

She glowers. “Have you met a baby, Storie? Those things don’t sleep. My brothers wake up easy, and they’re all hardwired to go shake Mom and Dad if they do. Caution is necessary if we want to make it out alive.” 5

I laugh and shake my head. I told Gray he was welcome to come to the frat house; Liam assured him there’d be somewhere for him to stay, but he was more enticed by Navya’s offer when she said she could sneak him into her room.

“Let me know how that goes,” I say. My gaze shifts to the clock. Just a couple more minutes, then I’m free.

At ten fifteen on the dot, Gray is waiting outside for Navya and when I follow her, locking up behind myself, I jump out of my skin at the sound of a horn, followed by a window rolling down.

“Sorry!” Liam calls in a loud whisper. “That was louder than I thought.” 2

“What’re you doing here?” I ask, my car keys in my hand. “I was going to drive over.”

“I wanted to pick you up,” he says, getting out and waving to Navya and Gray when they head off in the other direction. “Is that ok?”

“Of course it’s ok. It’s just a surprise.” 2

He pulls me into a hug and kisses me in the cold October air. Less than a month until Thanksgiving, and only three weeks left of class before we get a week off. “I like to surprise you,” he says, kissing me with minty breath. “I am so glad you’re coming over.”

“Me too,” I murmur, following him to his car. It’s getting cold out. I’m not ready for winter, for the long days that get me down, but something tells me it’ll be different this year. I don’t have Dad’s disappearance hanging over me; I have his spirit in the backyard. Mom has Tad. I have Gray. I have Liam. I have everything. 2

“Liam?”

He starts the car, carefully pulling out onto a quiet road. “Mmm?”

“Davis isn’t around, is he?”

He snorts. “God, no. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says. “He’s off with Annika. He’s practically moved in with her. He’s hardly ever in our room anymore.”

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

“I take it you guys aren’t friends anymore,” I say. It’s not really a question; I’m not really fishing. The words just fall out. But there’s no doubt in Liam’s voice.

“No. He’s an ass. I told him as much, in a few more words. He made you uncomfortable and he hurt you, and that’s not ok, and I love you like crazy,” he says, the words coming out in a flurry before he catches himself and takes a deep breath. He glances across at me. “I love you like crazy, Storie. You know that, right?” 11

“I know that.”

“I love you like crazy,” he says again, and he’s shaking his head to himself. It’s unnerving, a little weird. “I hate that I hurt you. I hate myself for hurting you. I’m so sorry.” 7

“I already forgave you. We already talked about this.”

He sighs. “I know. That doesn’t make it ok.” 16

“No,” I say, “but it’s in the past. It’s different now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know.” I put my hand over his when he lets it drop from the wheel.

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know, Liam.” I stare at him, trying to decipher the look on his face. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just … yeah. I’m sorry. I wish I could explain how sorry I am.” 4

“You don’t need to. I get it. You know, in the version I tell, you’re the knight in shining armor,” I say. “Even if you sent the dragon in first.” I laugh, to let him know it’s ok, and he smiles back at me. “Are you sure you’re ok? What’s got into you?”

“I, just, I guess that spending so much time with you and having you meet my family and being so goddamn in love with you made me realize how badly I screwed up. I don’t want to lose you, Storie.” 35

“You won’t,” I say, and when he pulls up and we get out, I wrap my arms around him even though it’s getting really cold. I wish I’d brought a coat. My arms are pimpling. Liam hugs me back even tighter, burying his face in my hair. Part of me hates that this is still weighing on his mind so much, but I’m also touched.

“Ok, now let’s go inside,” I say, “because I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

He laughs and takes my hand in both of his. “Sorry, Stor.” He kisses the back of my hand. “Much warmer upstairs, I promise.”

The two flights of stairs are enough to warm me up, really, but I can’t resist the heat of Liam’s embrace, the warmth of his eyes on my body as I change. I don’t shy away from him when I slip out of my work shirt, even though there’s nothing sexual about the move.

I know we won’t be doing anything tonight. His head’s in a weird place. I free myself of my bra – my nicest one, lace-lined satin, but also the most uncomfortable – and pull on a loose, thin sweater that hangs to my thighs. Liam doesn’t care that my boobs try to get as far from each other as possible as soon as they’re released. Their lack of perkiness doesn’t seem to bother him. 34

I love how little he cares about all the things I spent so many years worrying about. But it’s not even that he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’s completely indifferent to my breasts. He likes them. And it makes me love them more. When he loves me, I feel more loveable.

“You look so cute in that,” he says, fingering the sleeve of my sweater. He fumbles for his phone, hooking it up to his Bluetooth speaker, and soon a playlist fills the room. He throws his phone onto his bed and pulls me into his arms, feet slowly moving on the carpet. 7

I recognize the tune as one I chose on our late night drive. Smooth and slow, a sensuous song that makes my heart soar. Liam takes my hand and holds me close, and before I realize what our feet are doing, we’re slow dancing. He’s in nothing but his boxers. I’m in nothing but my sweater. Our hands are laced together; his cheek rests against my hair. 9

It’s perfect.

“You,” he murmurs, “Storie Sovany, are something else. You’re out of this world.” 1

It isn’t long before we end up in bed.

We don’t do anything. We don’t even kiss much. Liam runs his hand over my body and nudges me onto my side, his comforter cloaking our bodies, and he tucks himself behind me. His knees press against the backs of mine; his nose is buried in my hair; his arm is draped over me.

I think it’s the most intimate we’ve ever been. We’ve done other stuff, but this is different. It’s one thing to touch each other in a frenzy. It’s something else entirely to slow dance and spoon, to murmur to each other until we drift off.

I must be the first one to fall asleep, because I don’t remember a moment that he isn’t whispering sweet nothings in my ear.