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Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 26

Sweet Dreams..

• • •

1

Liam’s been totally soft for two days. It didn’t take too long for me to find out he fought with Davis on Wednesday, before I stayed the night, and I guess Davis threw me under the bus. He seems to hate me, like he has any right when he’s the one who hurt me. I think he thinks I’m stealing Liam from him, like there’s a friendship for me to ruin, or that I’m not good enough.

It’s hard not to think that myself. The thought has plagued me my whole life, but it’s getting easier to believe Liam when he holds my hands and my gaze and tells me that he loves me, that I am more than enough, that Davis is an asshole. 1

I know they’re brothers. I know what these frats are like. I know Liam won’t – can’t – cut Davis out. I don’t expect him to. But they’re not talking, and Liam’s spare time is spent with me. I’m not scheduled to work tonight so as soon as Gray can tear himself from Navya, we’ll head home for the weekend.

He’s taken to joining her for her Psych 320 class, and occasionally sitting beside her in Bio 430. He always comes out baffled by how little sense it makes to him, and rambling away about how clever Navya is, how in awe of her intelligence he is. Honestly, so am I. She’s crazy clever, and as loud and enthusiastic as she is, she keeps her smarts on the downlow.

They’ll be done in twenty minutes. I’m waiting in the café off campus, a slice of Victoria sponge in front of me, a fork dangling from my hand, and Liam’s eyes boring a hole into mine. I don’t even realize until he nudges me, and he laughs when I jump and drop my fork.

“You were a million miles away.” His foot finds mine under the table, slipping off his sandal to run his toe up my calf. “What’s on your mind, fable?” 6

“Fable?”

“That’s a story, right?” He steals a bite of my cake even though he had a whole slice to himself. His toe is tickling my leg. It sends a warm shiver up my spine. 10

“That’s cute,” I murmur. “You’re cute. But it’s not cute to take my cake.” I slap his hand away and take a defiant bite. It’s a bit much. I choke on my mouthful. Liam laughs and scoots over to my side of the booth to hit my back, and his hand stays there when I recover before it moves to my shoulder. 7

“What’s going on in there?” He taps my head.

“Just thinking,” I say. “Everything and nothing.”

“That’s a lot.” There’s a note of genuine concern in his voice.

“The usual,” I say. He doesn’t know the half of it. If I gave him a glimpse inside my head, he’d run a mile. I have no idea how to bring up the A word. I’ve only ever actively told one person that I’m autistic. Obviously Tad knows, and the college admin team, but Gray’s the only person I’ve really told.

Liam squeezes my shoulder and leans close to murmur, “The usual sounds exhausting.”

I wonder if he gets it. Would he get it? Or would he get all awkward and start treating me differently? I really don’t know. I couldn’t take it if everything changed because of a word. It would kill me if I told him about a part of myself that I’ve kept buried my whole life, and he made me wish I’d buried it deeper. 5

“It really is,” I say with a sigh that comes out heavier than I mean it to. I rest my head against Liam’s cheek, nestled against him, until my brain suddenly latches onto one of millions of thoughts that are flitting around my brain at any one time. It forces me to sit straight when it launches itself to the forefront of my thoughts. “Oh!”

“Jesus, Storie!” Liam cries out, clutching his rib, where I accidentally jammed my elbow when I lurched forwards.

“Sorry!”

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

“What was it?”

“Come over,” I say, grabbing his hand when he drops it from his chest. Sometimes an idea will hit me with such power that I have to latch onto it like a limpet and I can’t let go. “Come to my house for the weekend. Mom wants to meet you. I want you to meet her. Come over. Please.” 5

His smile slowly grows. He cocks his head at me, blonde hair falling forward. “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. But you don’t have to.” I watch him, trying to decipher the look on his face. He actually seems excited.

“I’d love to,” he says. “I’d really love to.” 5

“Really?”

“One hundred percent.” He presses his lips to my cheek. “Mmm, you smell so good. What is that?”

“Coconut? My shampoo?”

He sniffs my hair. “No, not that. Though that’s nice too, but your face smells good.”

I laugh and lean away from him. “Probably just cake.”

He kisses me softly, as though we’re alone, and then he shakes his head, barely pulling away from me to say, “You smell like flowers. I like it. Mmm. A lot.”

“Oh, I borrowed my mom’s rose moisturizer,” I say, and I push him away, eyeing him, “so don’t like it too much.”

“Too late. You smell good enough to eat.” He loops his arm around me and makes a point of inhaling deeply before kissing my cheek and pulling my earlobe between his teeth. “How long until we leave?”

“Twenty?”

“Can we swing by my room and grab some stuff for the weekend?” He steals another bite of my cake with a grin, and I can’t be mad at that face. I love it more than cake.

Exactly twenty minutes later, Liam and I are sitting in my car waiting for Gray to come out of Navya’s class. They’re a few minutes late, coming out holding hands, and they kiss before she heads off to work and Gray jogs over to the car. He skids into the backseat when he sees Liam.

“Hey, Gray,” I say, carefully pulling out and joining the road that leads to the interstate. “Liam’s coming over for the weekend.”

“Oh, cool! Hey, man,” Gray says, and I have to hide my smile. He really isn’t a hey man kind of guy. 7

“Hey, Gray,” Liam says. “Hope you don’t mind me crashing the ride.”

“No, no, not at all,” he says. “By all means, steal my seat and my Storie.” He laughs and grins and wiggles his eyebrows at me in the mirror. “So, ready to meet the parents?” 2

“Looking forward to it,” Liam says, a hint of a smile on his lips. He looks over his shoulder at Gray. “How’re things going with you and Navya?”

I zone out a bit as the two of them talk, focusing on the road for now. It’s rush hour and the roads are busy, and I’m not great with distractions when there’s so much going on. And I like that Gray and Liam can chat so easily. It gives me an extra douse of confidence in my relationship. If they didn’t get on, I don’t know if I’d feel that great.

It’s only when I hear my name that I tune back into the conversation. Gray has his seatbelt at full stretch to lean forward, arms crossed on his knees.

“So, Liam, I have a very important question for you,” he says.

“Hit me.” Liam seems amused by Gray. Not in a mean way. He just finds him amusing. There aren’t many people like Gray.

“On a scale of five to eighteen,” Gray begins, and a grin breaks out across my lips, “how much do you love Storie?” 8

Liam doesn’t laugh. He sucks in a deep breath. “That’s a tricky question.”

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

My stomach drops. I grip the wheel tighter. 7

“It needs to be a sliding scale, really,” Liam continues, slipping his hand onto my knee. “Obviously my answer is eighteen, but I love her more every day so tomorrow my answer will be higher than today’s, but I don’t want to knock points off today’s answer just to make space for the future.” 19

Gray whistles. “Smooth. I approve. Got yourself a keeper, Storie.” 3

“I know.” I meet Gray’s eyes in the mirror. He gives me a knowing look and a thumbs up.

We’re still more than an hour from home when my phone buzzes with a text, and based on who’s in the car, it has to be Mom.

“Can you get that?” I ask Liam, nodding at my phone. “Is it Mom? What does it say?”

“It’s Tad,” Liam says. I shoot a point look in the mirror.

“Let me guess, Gray. You haven’t replied to your dad and now he has to text me just to get through to you?”

“No! I swear, I have my phone in my hand.”

“He’s just asking what time you’re home. He says he and your mom are going to the beach for a bit,” Liam says. “Want me to reply?”

“Tell him we’ll be an hour,” I say.

“How do you text him? Dear Tad? Dearest lover of my mother?” He chuckles to himself. I elbow him when the road’s clear and I’m driving straight.

“Just say we’ll be home in an hour and we’ll see him then. And say have fun. And a smiley face,” I say, unwilling to tear my eyes from the road to supervise. I’m a bit jealous of Mom and Tad. It’s the perfect weather for a quiet hour on the beach, a balmy seventy degrees as the sun begins to set.

“Here we go,” Liam says. “Dearest Tad, lover of my mother, father of my kinda brother. How’s that?” 24

Gray bursts into laughter from the backseat. I glower. But I kind of want to smile. I can’t help it. Liam is adorable, and he’s totally got under my skin.

• • •

The sun has set by the time I pull up next to Tad’s car in the driveway. He and Mom must be back from the beach. The temperature has dropped down to sixty now that the sun has pretty much gone, and the forecast reckons there’ll be a storm tonight. The sky’s nearly dark, just the faintest orangey glow on the horizon.

I’m nervous. I know Mom’s inside the house, clueless. She has no idea Liam’s coming over. I should’ve warned her, but it’s too late now. His hand is in mine. My hand is on the doorknob. He squeezes my fingers. Gray trails behind us.

“Mom?” I call. No answer. I lead Liam to the kitchen and spot Mom and Tad outside, wrapped in a tight hug. My heart soars for them, swelling with joy for Mom, until I see that her face is streaked with tears, her eyes red. “Oh my God.” 2

I drop Liam’s hand, ready to rush out, but Tad spots me and he comes in, leaving Mom outside. His eyes fall on Liam; he smiles when he recognizes him.

“Hi, Liam,” he says, his voice soft, as though this isn’t the first time they’ve met. “Storie, can I talk to you for a second?” 1

Tad has never asked to talk to me for a second. I look past him to Mom. She’s drying her eyes with both hands, cheeks to the sky as she blinks hard.

“Is Mom ok? Did she faint? Did something happen?”

Tad puts his hand on my arm. “Your mom’s fine, don’t worry,” he says. “Can we have a word?” He nods at the living room. I nod numbly and follow him, leaving Gray and Liam confused in the kitchen and Mom crying outside.

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

“What’s going on?” I ask when we’re alone. I’m not sure Tad and I have ever been alone together. “Why’s Mom crying? What happened?”

Tad sits. He nods for me to do the same. “I just want to say that I wanted to talk to you first. I always planned to talk to you first, Storie.” 15

“About what?” I’m perched right on the edge of the sofa. Tad smiles. He looks so much like Gray when he smiles.

“I proposed to your mom,” he says. “I asked Jen to marry me.”

“Oh my God.” I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. My brain disengages. But I feel an unexpected smile break out. Tad proposed. “You proposed?”

His smile grows when he sees that I’m not going to hit him. “I did. And I promise, Storie, I had it all figured out that I was going to talk to you first. I never wanted to seem like I was going behind your back, proposing to your mom, but this evening was … it was perfect. I just couldn’t wait.” 3

“It’s ok,” I say, tears jumping to my eyes and spilling out. “Sorry. I’m not mad. I’m not upset, I promise.” I swipe away the tears. Tad comes over and sits next to me and hugs me, and it hits me that he really is going to be my stepdad.

“Wait,” I say. “She said yes, right?”

Tad laughs. “She said yes. I’m so relieved you’re ok with this.”

“She really loves you,” I say, wiping my eyes, “and Gray’s basically my brother already.”

Tad squeezes my hand. I already know he’s an amazing dad. He’ll be a great stepdad. “Thank you, Storie. I’m so sorry I didn’t involve you.”

“It’s ok, Tad, really. Mom loves you.”

“I really love your mom. She means the world to me.”

I can’t help but cry. Happy tears, of course. “She means the world to me too.”

As soon as we’re done talking, I fly outside to almost knock Mom to the grass when I hug her, and a laugh bubbles out of her when I wrap my arms around her as tightly as I can.

“Tad told me,” I say. “I’m so happy for you.”

Mom strokes my hair. “I’m so happy you are,” she murmurs, her voice thick. There isn’t really much else that needs to be said. I’m a little shellshocked. And then I remember.

“Liam’s here,” I say. “I asked him to stay this weekend. I didn’t ask. I’m so sorry. Is that ok?”

Mom lets go of me, looking past me to the kitchen with wide eyes, her mouth a silent O. “Liam’s here? I can meet him?”

I nod. “Is it ok that he’s here?” 1

“Of course, honey! You know I want to meet him,” she says, briskly drying her eyes. “Today’s a big day, isn’t it?” Fanning her face, she takes a deep breath and hugs me again before she follows me to the kitchen. 5

Liam greets us with a winning smile. Gray’s eyes are alight; Tad must have told them. Liam takes my hand when I reach out to him and lace my fingers with his.

“Mom, Tad, this is my boyfriend, Liam,” I say. “Liam, my mom and Tad … well, her fiancé.”

Mom is reserved. She’s not the type to launch into handshakes or hugs, especially not when she’s still reeling from a proposal. She stands with her hands clasped in front of her, shoulder to shoulder with Tad, but her smile is bright.

“Hi, Liam,” she says, her voice gentle. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

His smile is one hundred percent disarming charm. It’s enough to make me go weak at the knees. “It’s really nice to meet you too, Mrs Sovany.” 3

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

“Just Jen,” she says with a small shake of her head. Liam glances at Tad, then Mom.

“I hear congratulations are in order. I’m really sorry to crash the party.”

“Oh, not at all!” Mom releases her hands at last, touching Liam’s elbow. “I’ve wanted to meet you ever since Storie told me about you. Now there’s more to celebrate.” She sinks back against Tad, whose arm is around her waist, just like Liam’s is around mine.

Gray stretches out his arms and cracks his knuckles. “Well, I guess I’m fifth wheel this weekend,” he jokes. Mom looks horrified for a moment before she realizes that he’s kidding. Tad rolls his eyes at him and claps a hand on his shoulder. 5

Mom is the opposite of Liam’s mom. Rather than throw question after question at him to suss him out, she’d rather watch from the sidelines, observing him as though she’s a fly on the wall of his life. She’s an onlooker by nature, and I watch her watching him as he talks to Tad as we order take-out; she watches the way he’s always holding me, how his fingers are always exploring my hand or my arm.

Each time I meet her gaze, she smiles. I know it’s a genuine smile. I’ve seen enough of Mom trying to convince me that she’s ok for me to know when she actually is, and I know she is. She’s engaged. She and Tad are going to get married at some point. She’s going to have a husband.

Every now and then, as the five of us eat and chat, it hits me. It’s not so much a freight train as it is a tidal wave that rolls through me, a peak of undue anxiety swelling and subsiding when I remind myself that this is good. All of this is good. Mom’s so happy. I’m so happy. 1

The evening is dominated by talk of Mom and Tad. Gray is like a terrier with his questioning, flipping between the two of them for the answers he wants. How did his dad propose? When did he know? How long did it take Mom to say yes? Tad laughs, answering most of the questions. Mom is tucked up against him on the sofa, occasionally interjecting.

It’s getting late before the conversation winds its way back to Liam and me. Mom has already started yawning, half asleep against Tad’s shoulder, and I’m relieved when she rubs her eyes and sits up.

“As much as I can’t wait to hear about you, Liam,” she says, her flawless accent slipping slightly thanks to her exhaustion, “I think it’s time for bed.” She glances at Tad, her hand on his thigh. “We’ll go out for brunch tomorrow, maybe? All five of us?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tad says. “Sleep well, guys.” His eyes linger on me and he mouths thank you and I return the smile. A moment after the two of them head upstairs, hands tangled together, Gray stands.

“I’d best leave you two lovebirds to it,” he says, heading up to his room with an exaggerated yawn before I can protest. Liam and I are alone. His nose bumps against my cheek and when I look at him, he kisses me.

“Hey,” he murmurs, nudging my head back. Warmth floods my body beneath his touch, lightness filling my head. I pull him closer; I kiss him deeper. I want him.

But not in the living room. I stand and pull him to his feet, stretching up on my tiptoes to kiss him when he runs his hands through my hair, snagging on a tangle that he teases free. My hand is on the back of his neck, the other at the small of his back, and I don’t let go until my feet ache and I have to drop back onto my heels.

“Let’s go to my room,” I say, and he follows without a word. We move quietly, though it has only been ten minutes since everyone else came up, and as soon as my door his shut, my hands are on his warm chest, undoing his buttons.

Semi-dressed, we end up on my bed. Liam is on his back, his shirt hanging from his shoulders and his belt discarded, his jeans unbuttoned, and he pulls me down, pushes me onto my back, looms over me to kiss me.

I want him. I want him. I wrap my arms around him, my hands grazing the taut skin of his muscled back. His kissing is hungry, devouring me as his lips trail from my jaw to my cleavage, and my hands find his waistband. But then he stops.

“We can’t do this,” he whispers.

But I want to. I really do. “I’m ready,” I say. I am. I know it. There’s no doubt in my mind. He’s right next to me, so close I can feel his heartbeat, and I’m craving it.

“We can’t. Not today.”

I prop myself up on my elbows. “Why?”

He sort of smiles, then it turns into a grimace. He glances at the wall. “Because I can hear your parents,” he says. “It’s kind of killing the mood.” 35

Oh my God. As soon as he mentions it, my ears tune into the muffled sounds coming from Mom’s room and hot blood rushes to my cheeks. I mean, of course Mom and Tad have done it. But it’s not something I ever had to think about before. It’s not something I’ve ever heard before. 7

“Oh my God, no.” I cover my face.

“I think it’d be weird,” Liam whispers. I nod. He comes closer again, so close I can feel his breath on my chest. “I want to. God, I want to, Storie. Just … not like this.”

Definitely not like this. He nestles against me and kisses me, and he pulls my comforter over our heads. Liam puts his hands over my ears, his palms warm, and he kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my lips. Disappointment subsides.

I can wait. I’ve waited this long already, and it feels even better knowing that Liam is willing to wait. We’re lying so close that I can feel how much he wants this, but he does nothing but hold me and kiss me and cover my ears under the covers. It’s hard not to touch him when I want to so badly, so much it hurts, but this is better. We lie together in the dark. I can’t see his eyes but I know we’re looking at each other. I cover his ears too.

“I love you, Willy,” I say, though the words sound distorted with Liam’s hands over my ears. I don’t even know if he heard me. His hands are hot. He shifts closer. Our noses touch. Our lips brush together.

“I love you, fable.” His lips touch mine when he speaks. 4

“I’m autistic,” I blurt out, the words falling from my lips before I can overthink them anymore. I immediately regret it. My eyes well up. I’m glad he can’t see that. He moves his hands away from my face. I can hear him breathing. There’s a pause as he processes what I said. 16

“Ok.”

“I don’t want it to change anything.”

“It doesn’t.”

“You don’t mean that.” I know he can’t mean that. It’s stupid of me to want things to say the same. People balk at the word. Their minds go to the extremes, the geniuses and the tantrums. Never to me, just a brain wired differently.

“I do,” he says. “I loved you two minutes ago and you’re the same person you were then.” His lips touch mine. I feel him smile. “You’re a puzzle. That’s another piece. And Storie?”

“Mmm?”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”


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