Bloody Lips

Episode 19

Xander POV:

I look at my love while leaning against the doorframe of the back door.

My eyes close in pleasure when I hear her laughs as a smile curve up my lips. Nothing is more peaceful than hearing her sweet laughs,her giggles,her voice. I sigh while opening my eyes again. 27

I can do anything to hear her laughs. I can do anything to keep her safe ,to make her happy. But I doubt if is it possible while living with me? I question myself. I furrow my eyebrows. 4

I have hurt her. I know I have hurt her, really bad. After she had broken down infront of me yesterday , I wanted to do nothing but to kill myself in every possible way known to mankind. All I wanted to do was to rip my flesh out and burn my self for making her cry. 335

But i am too selfish to leave my love so I drop the thought of killing myself and leaving her. 132

After lying her down in the bed, I went to the forest and punch every tree that was in my path. I destroy everything around me but nothing could put off the fire that had burned the inside me after seeing the only person,I love so much , broken. 138

I had cursed everyone who had made me this, everything that make me this. The monster, the heartless monster. I wish I could bring them to life again and kill them again for the monster,they have made me. 34

Flashback :

“Mother! Father! ” I yelled for them, desperately. 5

I looked around frantically. The heat, clawing at my skin. My frantic eyes, searching for my parents.

No please. Let them be alive. Please. Please.

Everything was becoming ashes infront of my eyes. My home. My home where I had grown up all my life. My place where I felt safe. The place which always gave me shelter. My heart pulled at the sight of my house.

I thought, desperately of anything that could stop these flames but I knew it was useless now. Nothing could help now.

“Mother!! Where are you?!” I shouted again. My throat choked up with tears. 1

“Please!” Pleaded.

I moved away as burned curtains fell from the window above . I ran upstairs. Everything was burning.

When I felt wetness on my cheeks,I touched them to finds my face stained with shining tears.

“Father! Answer me!”

Heat enters my lungs ,choking my throat. My insides were burning as heat crawls closer towards me but I wouldn’t give up. Not now not until I found my parents. My parents who taught me everything. My parents who were always there for me. Now I would do anything to be there for them. 3

“Mother! Father! Please I’m here!” 1

“Answer me!! Please.”

I opened room after room but only thing I found was ashes. A loud cry left my lips when I found the rooms empty with ashes. No please. Please. My whole body shook with fear. I gulped lump after lump after throwing each door.

Please let them be save. 2

I threw open the last door and the sight infront of me, made me fell down on my knees as a silent scream left my mouth 112

End of flashback

I stumble back gasping for air,my hand on my mouth as I was brought back to present by the loud laugh of the only person that I care about. I desperately look at her. 22

There she is.

I sigh with content to find my love sitting on the bench below the big tree and laughing at something Laila told her. My love brings me peace. She is the only person that can calm me down. Calm these fires down.

I look at her happy face, the face which only has anger, frustration ,sadness when she is with me. But the only person responsible for that is me ,I thought bitterly.

As sensing my presence like she always does,her head turns towards where I am standing. 1

Those eyes that were lit up just a moment ago becomes dull and replace with fear,the smile which I crave to see leave her face. Fear, sadness cross her face. All my doing,these are my doing but I will going to change it. I will. 47

Every tears,she had shed for me when I left her until yesterday. Every day,she had to spent alone without me. Every day,she had to wake up alone without me besides her. Every night ,she had cried, without me holding her. I will going to make it up. If I fail tl make it okay, I will do anything to make it better ,to make her better.

This is the only way by which I can make her better. I will give her everything she needs, every love she needs. And I’m sure she will going to accept me. One day,she will.

I smile at her,the same way I used to before and when I see her reaction , I know she remembers. My smile changes into grin as I make my way towards my Lexi.

Alexandra POV :

My eyes become wide when I see him smiling the same way he used to, so charming which makes me sigh everytime . His smile changes into soft grin as he makes his way towards me. His eyes are soft without any mischief.

This is the Xander,I used to know. But is it the same Xander or just another game of him? 18

I maintain my posture but from inside I am quivering as he comes closer, slowly. Laila looks at me before following my gaze. She stills while standing up.

“Hello Sir! ” She greets him which he returns with nod but his eyes fix at me. He stops infront of me.

“Mind if I join you?” He asks. 3

Is he seriously asking, nicely?

Or it is his another game? 17

“Umm. I will go and help maa in the kitchen. Do you need anything,sir?”

“No thank you. You can go. ” She nods,looking at me with an encouraging smile. I fist my shaky and sweaty hands on my lap.

Don’t go. Come back !! But she didn’t hear my silent screams and move inside the house. 4

He clears his throat gaining my attention.” Well?” He asks again with a small smile.

Why not,Majesty. 12

“Uh okay.” He raises his eyebrows while sitting beside me in the bench. I straighten my back and look towards him. 1

He leans, causally against the bench throwing one arm over the back. His legs spread infront of him. 13

“So how is your day going so far?”he asks making me scoff. He looks at me in amusement.

It was going fantastic until you bless me with your presence. 103

“It is going.. fine, i guess.” He raises an eyebrow at my words while nodding and looking around. But my eyes are stuck at his figure. He never fails to take my breath away, I smile bitterly.

He sighs before turning his whole body towards me. And with that ,i know that now I have all his attention. I move nervously in my seat while looking around.

I jump when I feel fingers holding my chin and turning my face toward him. I suck in a breath as my eyes collide with his greyish blue eyes. 4

And I get lost in it.

I see every thing he wants me to see. The guilt swirls in them. The sadness. The anger. Every emotion , he feels swirl in them but what stands out the most the way he looks at me,the way he used to look at me. 37

Lovingly. Adoringly. Softly. 1

My throat chokes up with the memories of past. Our sweet memories .

The way he looks at me with soon much love.

“Lexi.”I close my eyes, hearing my name coming from his tongue so softly.

“Hmm.”

“I’m sorry.” He says,brokenly and my eyes snap open. He looks so vulnerable,his eyes pleading me. 36

But I can’t believe him after everything he had done. I look at him, uncertainly, not saying anything. I let him talk this time. 39

“I know. I hurt you and hell you have every right to yell at me, hit me . I know,i have hurt you but-“he breaks off while shutting his eyes,tight.

“Listen love. Please forgive me. Please. I will make everything better. I will make it like it was before. ” I shake my head at his words before whispering, 1

“It can’t be like before,Xander.” 67

“I know,It can’t be…”he runs his hand throw his hair, frustratingly and I smile when I remember he is never good with words. 12

“I can’t be the same Xander,I was before but I will try for you. I will just give me sometime ” 81

“I will make us better. I will make up for everything I had done. I will make up for every day you had been alone ,every morning you had woken up without me beside you, every night you had slept without me holding you. Every things. Every mistake. Every tears you had shed because of me. Please.” 8

“It is not that easy , Xander.” I whisper again. 22

“I know. It will take time I know. I know but I will give you every time you need to make it better. To make us better. I am too selfish to leave you alone. So selfish. ” He looks at me, desperately. Tears run down my cheeks without me knowing.. 27

“But I know you still love me. Maybe hate has overcome that love but I know even little but you still love me. Please forgive me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I will punish myself for everything, i had done. Tell me what you want I will do everything to myself to punish myself for every pain I had given you. ” He touches his forehead with mine as he holds my hands in his, tightly but not tight enough to hurt me. 43

“Please. Please. I can’t leave you. I just can’t . You are my peace. My world. My reason of living. Please.” He says,looking deep in my eyes. His eyes fill with unshed tears. 80

I can’t see him like this. I can’t. 6

I close my eyes as my whole body shakes with silent sobs. His words tore my heart open for him again. The sincerity in his voice, tore my heart open for him,again. 38

“Look at me.” He whispers and I slowly open my eyes to look at him again. 12

“I love you,Lexi. I have loved you before, I love you now and I will love you always. ” 93

With these words ,I throw my hands around him ,pulling him towards me, crying in his shoulder. I hold him tight against me as he holds me against him. 181

We just stay in each other arms with him gently stroking my hairs and kissing my head,rocking us back and forth.

I miss him. I miss him so much. 13

“Do you forgive me?”he asks me as my sobbing cease. 82

I pull away from him and look in his eyes. His arms are still around me.

Do I forgive him?

After everything, he had done? Did I?

After every pain ,he had given me? I ask myself.

No, I haven’t. It is not so easy to forgive someone so easily. 36

“No.” His face falls down. 184

“But one day when everything gets better ,I will. It is not easy for me to just forget about everything, Xander” I whisper.

He nods his head in understanding.

“One day.” He smiles at me. 21

“One day.” I repeat with a smile also.

I haven’t forgiven him yet. But I hope for our sake that I will one day forgive him for us. No one but us.

“I have missed you.” I say while stroking his cheek with my hand. He leans in my touch before crushing my body in his.

“Me too, baby. Me too.” He breathes out.

He pulls back and looks at my face. His eyes looking at every inch of my face before they fall into my lips. He leans down but stops just few inches away and looks at me in silent permission.

I close my eyes and leans forward,pressing my lips against his, giving him my permission which he accepts almost frantically. 116

He kisses me like his life depends on it. He pulls my bottom lips between his teeth and sucks it. His hands hold my face while his thumb strokes my cheeks.

I kiss him back. His tongue traces my lips asking for permission which I oblige opening my mouth. He thrusts his tongue inside ,earning a moan from me. His hands move towards my neck caressing my skin making my skin tingles.

He leaves my lips before kissing my cheeks then my jaw moving toward my neck and sucking at my flesh. I moan loudly.

I am in daze with his lips, making me crazy but I can’t this far. I am not ready for it. Not now.

I pull back and his head moves up to look at my face in worry.

“Is something wrong?” His eyes showing nothing but concerns .

I smile and shake my head before pecking his lips. He sighs before snaking his arms around me again and hugging me.

I put my head on his shoulder. It’s funny how my life has changed in just a month. 44

Xander was right that I still love him. No matter,how much I deny it but deep down his flames of love are still alive burning slowly. They are there,little,but still there. 21

I just hope what I did today won’t turn out wrong for me. I hope,giving him another chance won’t turn out as my another mistake. I hope, there is still my Xander inside of him and I’ll do anything to bring him back. I hope, he makes it better. 21

I hope… 91