Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy

Episode 40

In a joking manner, I told asamoah that I liked her sister …
And he said something that made me believe he is really a mad
man! . Like “Abeg try toast am, am tired of listening to her
stories of her Ghanian B.Fs.. She needs to feel the nigerian
blend!”..
Ehehehehe! I know, its either he was madt, or he YAF madt.
This came as a shock though, but it yaf tey that I have been
hiding shocks, so I just told him he is a badman!!

Rained praises
on him as the sister sat in the car waiting for us to finish talking.

He went to the car, told his sister that he wants to pee in my
house, that I would keep her busy when he is gone ..

JACKPOT!!!!!

Ok, I sU-Ck at wooing girls. Maybe because I don’t believe seeing
a girl for the first time should guarantee a proposal, or I am just
too shy to ask a girl out on first meet. So, I got close to the car
and was like:
“Umm.. I didn’t get your name earlier you know?”.. In my
borrowed ascent ohhhhh!

She told me her name was Angela AGAIN.. Omo!

Na so flow start
oh!

*Convo
Me: Wow! So I am guessing you are from Los Angeles huh?
She: *startled.. Pardon? Me: According to legends, Los Angeles is a place were angels landed when they came to earth and after they landed, they all went lost.. Hence, the “LOS” before the “ANGELES.. Ummm! I
guess Angeles in english also means Angela.. *She was smiling
at this time *
She laughed and said “That was so lame! , but funny, please
tell me you haven’t used it on any girl!!!”..

I told her she will determine if I would use it on another girl, that
I had to cook something up that will make a beautiful girl like her
smile because the smile was needed in order for me to collect
her phone number ..

She asked if I was on BBM, na so I lie say iont like BB’s Battery
, so I am a big fan of Nokia (Omo! People hate BB
dat time sha, even people wey nor know wetin BB mean, dem go
say dem no like d ba3 ).

Anyway, Collected her number still as I called her right at that
moment to see if it was the real number .

Asamoah came and
smiled, giving me a good eye symbol as he told I owed him a
favour but who send? As far as he boosts my reputation in
front of his sister.

I followed them to the estate gate, dropped there and headed to a
Shopping Mall closed to the estate to get some condoms . I
got the expensive ones , and make I no Bleep up, I come begin
dey ask the girl(supermarket attendant) which size she go
suggest … Trust me, I was happy! Maybe because of that
convo I had with ANGELA from LOS ANGELES
Everybody was looking at me like say na crime to buy condoms
but I send? Mtche www.. But I swear the girl was short for words
. She said she would suggest Small size , I laughed out
loud and told her she has no idea what I had under. *Ikr? I
lost my senses in Faith’s b0s0ms and Bottom remember? *
After much disturbance, I got a medium and a large one, just to
give way for other people and as I was on my way out, one
Jehova Witness Lady came to meet me and was telling me that
Fornication is a sin to God .. Na so I begin form Jew. Like
“Sister, trust me, my Uncle that is married sent me this, I don’t
fornicate”.. She gave me a flyer and started saying things about
why christmas shouldn’t be celebrated ..

I wished she knew
what I gained just for this christmas.. Mtchewww!

I collected her AWAKE which I eventually dropped at my Tailor’s
place and was Off to my house. Immediately when I got closed to
the street next to our street, I heard a Car Horn and the car
stopped in front of me, na so I hide my merchandise for my
Pockets. *No! I wasn’t wearing a kaftan this time *
It was Joyce’s Car, Abigail sat in the front and definitely, surely,
Faith was at the back. I didn’t even wait for her to ask me to
come in before I started opening the door that was obviously
locked.
When I got inside, my mind started judging my actions like
“Oboy! You sure say you suppose enter? This one wey Faith just
act like say she no see you so, things go happen oh!!!”.. But I
had to answer a voice that asked where I was coming from. And I
told IT I went to see a friend! Iont lie!.. I opened the gate, they
went in and Faith didn’t say a word to anybody.
Asamoah called me sometimes in the afternoon when I tried
reading for JAMB(e gree enter??) and told me the favour he
wanted from me. He said he wanted to invest into Abigail(the
last born oh) as she is a potential big market ..
Ok, if you don’t understand that, I will explain.. Investment/
Investing is a term we use for girls that are still innocent, like the
ones that are yet to fully develop their physical appearance. So
when he said he wanted to invest, he meant he wanted to woo
her and keep her till she is fully matured. Call it a FIRST LOVE.
Funny right? Like does he know that Abigail’s stock are
already in the market? .. Well, Unto say I don’t like saying
bad things about people, I just told him he is a bad Guy as I
promised to get her number for him and I told him she was a
good girl who hardly goes, always reading her books and other
craps.
Dropped the call and wanted to call ANGELA immediately, but my
mind sent a message like “Tah! Don’t be in a hurry, pretend like
say you never remember am “.. Na so I arrange fast drop my
phone and went straight to the sitting room were them girls
(Joyce/Abigail) were cooking. They sent me BEEF and TURKEY
and abigail volunteered to follow me .
Nothing special happened on the road as we only talked about
school, about the quietness of the hood and how local the boys
around were . We did talk about her p@anties and she told me I
had to return it sometime before 3rd of January else she comes
take it. And Hell, I was having a hard-on while I walk with her,
especially with the way she was all over me. I come begin dey
tell everybody for road say na my cousin . I collected her
number though