Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy

Episode 50

Well, make e for nor lost.. I drink am all at once!

But it wasn’t just Syrrup. I thought I had a taste of Moutain Dew
inside, so I asked if it was mixed with a drink. He laughed and
said “Trust Me, you wouldn’t dare drink that shiii at once if you
knew what it was”
Now, the worst I was expecting was the containment of an
Aphrodisiac as I looked at him, confused. Then he continued(Do
you noticed Tobby likes talking? ) as I asked him what he
meant..
“You just took a liter of Purple Codeine man, all in less than a
second, that’s gonna be more intoxicating that weed I teyuuu”..
Now I was still confused, so I took to google to search for Purple
Codeine and to my greatest surprise, I saw what you will see
when you also google it .
Immediately I read the whole article on it, I felt like killing Tobby
for giving it to me because I was not a big fan of DOPing, he
looked at me and told me that I had better look for a place to
sleep as it hypes the first timers, makes them mad for some
minutes before knocking them out.. Scary right?
I got scared but I pretended like a wassup man, as I told him I
hardly get intoxicated .. i lied!!!!!

Few hours later, I could see some girls were already making the
balance as the ratio was more like 60:40.. And Abigail was
nowhere to be found, even the car Asamoah came in wasn’t
outside, so I just concluded they went for a drive .
On getting inside, right there on the dancefloor, a voice(strange)
whispered: “Oboy! Start shaking your head” . Now this was
strange as the sane part of me said “Guy! You wey nor sabi
dance? Na dt drug effect oh”..
As strange as it was , I obeyed it as I started shaking my
head.. Then another one came “Find Girl! Find Girl!! Find Girl!!!”
.. I obeyed as I went to where a girl was dancing with a Guy
and started rocking her from the back while the guy rocked her
from the front..

Then the voice came again.. “Touch her b0-0bs!

Touccchh…

Them.. Now!.. She nor gor fit talk”..

Ladies and gentlemen, Did I obey it? .. That I don’t know
for now
Ofcourse!!!.. I did obey it.. Like do I have any choice? The voice
was spiritual!!

Well, I touched the girl’s b0-0bs.. No, I grabbed them .

Somehow, the girl was confused.. I guess she thought it was her
BF(the Guy she was dancing with) that grabbed them but when
she realized that the hands came from the back, na so she vex
ohhhh!
“What the F**k do you think you are doing? Have you gone nuts?
Are you mard?”.. These among other things were what the girl
was saying as the Music was disturbing my ears.. And the
moomoo Guy was asking her what happened ..

While I stood
there listening to the spiritual voice saying “Hold! Never talk..”
Seems the girl told her Guy that I grabbed her b0-0bs, added salt
and sugar to it as the Guy(whom I later found out was the main
host ) told me he wants to see me in a quiet place ..
“Guy! Follow.. Nothing dey happen.. Anything wey happen, we
kill am”.. That evil voice at work .. I sha obeyed it
Tobby told me earlier that they are selecting random boys to
bounce out of the party as the girls were afraid of dancing in the
midst of many rugged boys.. So, when the Guy and I were in the
quiet place, he started brain washing me into going outside the
gate with him. Now the trick is simple, there were boys that will
just stylishly drag you out of the gate and leave the rest to the
bouncers.

But with my wowzy brain waves, I followed him
Na so d guy tell bouncers say e nor wan see my face for there
again..
“Guy! Rush the bouncers.. Them dey craze? Dem knw how much
henessy cognac cost?”.. The voice came again but this time
around, I dare not obey it. *Please Don’t ask me why..

Ahan!*
I was vexed, I was angry, I was furious.. And I was clueless of
what was happening to my body system as my whole body
started over-reacting. The time we were supposed to go back
home was 11pm and it was already 10:30pm, yet.. I didn’t see
any sign of Asamoah nor Abigail.

Was now chiling with the Association of Bounced out Boys as
I thought of the Henessy I used as ticket, I tried remembering the
face of the girl but who sigh? Na only the cloth wey she wear I
remember.. Although I already called Asamoah but he didn’t
pick, na one woman pick am
It got worst, the voices started talking
“Be going home.. Just dey go.. No mind anybody”.. I obeyed!!

“Sing! Any song.. Just.. Sing”.. I obeyed!!!

“Begin dey wave motors to stop”.. I obeyed
“You are not drunk, nor high, you are only having fun”.. I
believed.. (While I was on my way)
Phone rang, and I didn’t pick.. Why? Because I had a feeling it
was a text message .
When I got to the Estate Gate, the security man asked who I
was.. I told him I was his Employer.. Mind you, I knew what I
was saying, like I knew they were wrong, but I couldn’t just help
as I spoke with a voice you will liken to that of Mike Adenuga
(Slow and steady)
One of them recognized me as he stretched his hand for a
handshake, I cover my hand tell am “Chop Knuckle Padi mii..
Nothing do you” .
I don’t remember how I got to my Gate, all I know is I didn’t
knock, nor press the alarm when I saw someone open the gate..

Asking why I was knocking the gate so hard like there was no
Gate Alarm…. I didn’t bother answering the person because I
knew I didn’t knock (Wait! Did I really knocked? )
I remember walking through the sitting room, I entered the
kitchen to look for something to eat, ate anything I saw, then
stood up.. It was then I noticed Faith looking as she stood by the
kitchen door. I didn’t Bulge as I once again obeyed the voice that
told me to go inside and sleep..

I woke up on a Bed that didn’t looked like mine..

So I stood up
quickly wondering how I got there.. Ahan! Na inside my room
nah.. Wetin do the Bedsheet? How did I entered inside?..

Questions started flowing as I looked at my phone to check the
time. 10am! (and I had 15missed calls from Asamoah)
“So you finally woke up huh?”.. A very angry faith said as she
stood by the door, with an Angry face!..
I didn’t/couldnt say a word as I sat there, looking for a way to
avoid saying the truth of what happened last night. She didn’t
say nor ask anything either. She Just said “Glad you are Ok
sire”… And that had “You got lots of explanations to do” written
all over it, so I knew it was the right time to start talking.
“Ummm.. I took Codeine.. Unknowingly.. Tobby gave me
actually And I took it all at once , and it started affecting me, that
was”.. I was trying my stammering best to explain myself when
she cut it..
“Was why you called me and my Sisters sluurts? That was why
you had the guts to give me a sleepless night? That was why?
You kidding? Why you told me you have been f**king my sisters?
Can you listen to yourself?.. No, wait.. That was why you tried
beating me up?”
Bear me witness.. Una dey here wen I dey tell the story oh!

Abeg, I talk all those things? Abi I do all those things? , why
she dey Accuse me RIGHTLY?
This got to me, I swear I knew I was on a death roll in the
crocodile’s Jaw..

I tried saying something but couldn’t, especially when I
discovered she was crying.. Or sobbing. Damn! She was so
emotional.. I just sat there as she said “So, am patiently waiting
for you to tell me what I want to hear.. That you were lying..

Couple of all the things you said”
I just looked at her and told her I wouldn’t dare lie to her.. That
most of the things I said were lies, especially the one consigning
she and her sisters.. But she didn’t believed, she knew I was
lying..
She walked up to me, kissed me(I didn’t return the kisses
because there was an uncontrollable guilt all on me) and said..
“You Know, Abigail also came in drunk last night, I doubted you
for a second and asked her so many things.. She told me about
you and her”.. At this moment, I was melting!!.. I wanted to Die..
Especially when she laughed, climbed on top of me and whipped
her hair to the back.
“Please God!!!!!!” I called upon him in my mind.
“So, how about you make me a Slurt? How about you take my
Virginity and make me a slurt huh?”.. A very weak, crying Faith
said with some smiles while water rolled down her eyes.. And
she was screaming.. With the door opened.
I couldn’t believed my ears.. She was a Virgin? .. How come?
Why? Where? Why? Why?? Why
“Ken cheated on me with my best friend, now you cheated on me
with my Sister? Why Me Ladi? Why me? Why not just take what
Ken always wanted? My Virginity.. Aint that what you all are
after?”.. She continued screaming as she held me on my
designer “dashed” shirt..

Damn! All I could do was cry, looked into her eyes and I knew I
couldn’t lie anymore, then I said “I never wanted s*x, I never
wanted it, I swear with my life.. I felt special for you.. Please
hear me out.. I love you Faith..”

She slapped me and said beasts like me shouldn’t be given a
chance to talk love.. That I deserve the pit of Hell and all that..

No! I wasn’t affected by the slap, I was in deep poo!.. And
knowing very well that drugs takes extra hours before they begin
acting on me, I had this feeling the worst was yet to come.
Then I heard a door opened.. Na for here I remember my Mama
Dream!!! I come dey interpret am another way.. Yeah! The way you just interpreted it!