Diary Of A Single Mom

Episode 19

Sometimes we act as if we are used to have pain. Love is a good thing and moves mountains but if we keep making excuses for these men even if they hurt us, uhhm then we will never know the good side of it. That’s why we endlessly chant the love is blind song. Experience should be there to shape up for the better. No way can a clay pot keep coming out the same way even after you destroyed it to re-mould. The bottom line is, one should know when to let go.

Perhaps if I had accepted my fate humbly and let Ben go, then I wouldn’t have been carrying hot bricks on my back. I believe in love and so does every woman out there but it shouldn’t be a factor for us to fall victims now and then. The river of love is never smooth, there are rocks, bends, waterfalls and even diversions but the beauty and freedom comes along with it. My heart was burning and I was sick. I was so pale and flair and always in bed. Thanks to Norah for always sticking around when she had her business to attend to. I went to the hospital and my horror story was confirmed, I was pregnant. Norah gave me that ‘I told you so’ look and at that moment I envied the biblical Korah, Dathan and Abilam who got swallowed by the ground with all their belongings.

I couldn’t afford another baby when my relationship with the father left a lot to be desired. I didn’t tell him until he came to see me. He was shocked by my appearance and because I was slim, the pregnancy bulge had already started showing when I put on a tight fitting blouse. When he touched me, he sensed it.
“Are you pregnant?” I just nodded, waiting for the outburst that was likely to follow. I couldn’t say a word because I didn’t know what else to do. Amanda was a year and six months old and quite healthy, didn’t see any problem with keeping the second one but at nineteen?
“You can’t keep the baby, Amanda is still young” no way was I going to go through the process of fighting people off with negative thoughts to harm the baby growing inside me. He accepted Amanda and didn’t want any harm to come to her why couldn’t he accept this baby too????