Diary Of A Single Mom

Episode 24

every sacrifice has a price tag attached to it.there’s no sacrifice that doesn’t come with pain.I was yet to find out how far my mother was prepared to do for my sake. I stood there frozen to the ground, remorse washed over me.I had disgraced my family and now my mother was being insulted for my sins. I didn’t have enough reasons to justify myself. I made a mistake in the past but I was ready to change for the better .
I walked inside to find my Aunt Nyabanda poking my mother.
“here comes mother of mothers .” I pretended to have not heard her for I knew trouble was brewing.
“sit down my child.” my uncle spoke with a straight face totally ignoring her. I joined my mum and aunt on the mat.
“we called you today because you owe us an explaination.we want to know where you got these kids.”
aunt Nyabanda interrupted saying “we want you to tel us the father of your bastards .”
there was no way I was washing my dirty linen in public,my aunt was nicknamed ZBS after zodiac broadcasting station for her ability to.spread news fast. my uncle told her to shut up. emotions were rumbling inside me but I kept a passive face.
“we want you to bring the man responsible here so that he pay damages.” some cultures are just out of this world. while I had struggled to shed Ben off my back, these people were trying to put that iron back around my neck. he further said the children need to have a sense of belonging and the family didn’t have room for more humiliation. my mum was quick to answer that they should leave me to decide what I wanted to do. Aunt nyabanda had a permanent scrowl on her face, I knew it wasn’t hiting home.
“she has had her way too long, now it’s time to tell her what to George.” my uncle was determined to give me hell.
“uncle with due respect I understand your good intentions but there’s no way I am getting involved with Ben again. he is the one who left me in this situation and I will never have anything to do with him again.” I made myself clear.
“you are my responsibility and I have to make things straight once and for all, for the good memory of my brother.” he was talking as if he will make my father rise again to reward him . my mum was firing shots for me,she said she won’t allow them to push me around. my uncle said he didn’t ask for her opinion anyway and didn’t expect her words to change anything. I declined to get in touch with Ben,memories of his torture were still fresh and I wasn’t ready to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of their money thirst. they were being greedy by wanting to feast on my misfortune yet getting damages wouldn’t even make a difference in their poverty levels.if they were so desperate, they had to sell their own daughters. we went on arguing for hours until a boy came to tell my uncle that his presence was urgently required. he went.he was a lazy village bones who was too smart to do any farm work yet he needed to eat every single day.he was more or less like the chief’s representative .while others were busy towing the earth to feed their families.it was his two wives and six children who bore the burden of farming.
Aunt Nyabanda left with the excuse that she was going to prepare food for her husband.rumor had it that she snatched the man from another woman using muthi. the man had married six wives and divorced them all then married my aunt and had since lived with her for over twenty years. what did she have that the other women didn’t? I never knew.
later that night my mum gave me the letter my father left for me. I flipped it open.
“my dear child Wangu
time and distance had the best of us by giving us a hard time. if I could I would have reversed the wheel of time and be hundred times over the father that I longed to be. I am sorry for not being there when the storm of life hit.I wasn’t there to protect and initiate you into the life and future ahead.you became grown up too soon and it was too late for me to do anything about it. I could have done better by agreeing to take a right hand in your upbringing yet it turned out that I pushed my responsibility to somebody else.
I am sorry for everything. take care of yourself and always be there for your mother.
I love you my baby even though I had a lousy way of showing it.
Love- Dad “
I felt like I had opened a flood gate of tears.reality finally sunk in,my father was gone forever and all along we had lived like strangers.I cried because he never lived to see his grandchildren. I looked at my mother and wished I had the capability enough to buy the world for her to wipe the tears and sadness from her face. to live to never know the prick of loss again. we hugged each other and cried until there were no more tears left.
my phone beeped. an sms came through.
“live my man alone you b****”
what the hell??????

Episode 24 (Part B)

when emotions make the heart weary ,the soul weakens as well. that SMS made my emotions into a messy crumble.there was no way Cindy could have sent me that since we no longer had scores to settle.she won,she had Ben. I didn’t have trust issues with Peter because he didn’t have any girl besides me and I wasn’t competing with anybody since he gave me no reasons to distrust him.
I tried calling the number but it went unanswered. I was sure whoever had sent that was sending it to a wrong number. I wasn’t involved with any one’s man,my conscious was as clean as a nun’s knickers.
my mum asked if everything was okay and I assured her that nothing was amiss yet my face betrayed my emotions.
I went outside and retried calling ,it was unavailable. I was about to get inside when my phone rung.my lips curved into an infectious smile, it was Peter. the frown on my face completely disappeared.
“hey love”
“hey dear. did you go somewhere yesterday? ” he sounded as if he had heard something about me but I hadn’t told him of that day’s incident with his mother.
“I was home the whole day.why do you ask hun?” hide and seek emotional games weren’t my slice.
“are you sure about that?” I was taken about to the previous day yet I still more saw myself that i was saying the truth.
” if you are not sure you can ask Amanda, koma why are you asking? .” it was a completely new feeling not to be trusted.
“am asking Wangu because am at my wits end.I have had a very disturbing day.I received a call from a private number. a woman who introduced herself as Tamara.does this name ring a bell?”
I didn’t know anybody by that name and why did she call on a private number?
“I don’t know her” I answered in anticipation for more.
“she says she has enough proof to prove that you and Ben are still going out. she is or was the girlfriend until he confronted her about text messages he was communicating with you. ” that accusation was hot and quick and if handled with baby hands could put me at risk of losing Peter.
“babe you know perfectly well what I think of Ben now. heavens can bear me witness that I am done with him,I don’t communicate with him and its true .” I don’t know who the hell was trying to upset my apple cart. my hands were shaking in terror and rage at the intensity some people can go to damage others.
” the worse thing is that Ben has :followed you and you have been seen in eachothers company all over the village.he is there to pay your bride price.is it true that you are second timing me? ” wooh that was a lie straight from the pits of hell.how do people stop minding their own businesses I will never understand. yet it was ironic how i had been told to do exactly that .somebody was taking his news broadcasting seriously.he.further said that she had lost her marriage because of Ben,her husband left her when he found out she was cheating and now that Ben didn’t want to do anything with her any more,she wanted to ruin my relationship too since all Ben could talk about was his baby,to her it was enough reasons to conclude that we were still together. I was shocked to the core.
” babe please you know me better than everyone else. I was going to tell you about your mother and the meeting with my relatives.” this call had just come too soon before I had a chance to tell him. I narrated the events of that day and when I told him about his mother, he roared like an angry lion.
“my mother cannot dictate my life for me.I am old enough to know what I want. “I told him that I will never go there again until he sort it out. he didn’t want to further put a strain on our relationship, he told me to go back the following morning, no excuses. he wanted me back home .I felt like he wanted me to run away from these issues and shut ourselves in our own world. my life was now full of the fear of Ben ruining my life at every opportunity he found. how can his girlfriend know so much about me without him telling her? some side chicks are really ambitious. did she thought he would promote her to a main when he ruined and messed her marriage? to him it was a game and he had played her so well she had lost miserably. how long did she think she was going to get the best of both worlds?that’s dreaming colourlessly.if it was all about money, Eeeh she had sold her soul to the devil called Ben.if she was somebody else,she could have sought for my advice first because I knew both sides of Ben’s coin. there were some home truths I wanted to tell Ben.
I went inside the house and informed my mum of Peter’s decision for me to go back.she didn’t take it lightly.
“your father hasn’t even rotted in his grave and you are already abandoning me? ” issues were weighing me down and my relationship was at steak. as much as I wanted to stay, my heart was throbbing for my man.
I packed all my things and was awake most of the night,watching out for the first streaks of dawn and woke up early enough to prepare a packed meal for amanda and we got on the first bus.when mum was escorting me she was quite all the way.I left my phone with her with a new simcard. I needed to be in touch always.
it was the longest drive ever.I was so excited because every passing minute brought me closer to my man. after 9 hours of traveling, we finally arrived in Lilongwe the dusty city. Peter waited for us at the bus depot and it was Amanda who first saw him.my heart melted with love when he embraced me so tightly I thought he would crush my bones.its true distance makes the heart grow fonder.
we went home and it felt heavenly to be back. even Laurent looked so happy to be back. we went for a bath, prepared supper and went to bed. I was so exhausted and too tired to talk about the pending issues ,i fed the baby and fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. Peter was on night duty changing nappies and bottle feeding.
morning came,I woke up feeling so refreshed.I prepared breakfast and my man left for work.the moment he left, I called Ben on a landline. when he heard my voice, he knew it was me.I asked him if he knew Tamara and he said yes.I didn’t waste time to tell him to tell her to leave me and mine alone. I didn’t want him ruining my life and if he had issues, he had to sort them out without dragging me in it. he didn’t know that I had a man and told me to apologize on his behalf. kkkkkkk talking about him learning to say the five lettered magic words. he started to ask about Amanda when Laurent picked up a perfect time to cry.
“what baby do you have?” he asked. I didn’t think it was necessary yet I still told him.
“what???? you have a baby boy and yet you didn’t tell me?” did this man think my medulla oburangata was defunct? he said he didn’t want this baby yet here he was blowing trumpets.
“forget it man. this baby is no longer yours.he ceased to be that time you gave me money for abortion .” I said that then hunged up .certain paths were never designed to be passed twice. Ben-phobia was completely gone. I didn’t tell Peter about that call for fear of further bruising his emotions.
a week later we were at home on a Sunday. I was cooking while Peter was helping Amanda learn to count numbers. we had returned from church few hours ago and lunch was almost ready. I was setting the table at the dining room when there was a knock on the door.
“can you see who is at the door sweetheart “Peter called for me.I put Laurent amidst the books,to the surprise of the two people who were totally engrossed in learning on my way to the door.
I flung it open and there stood the worst of my nightmares. my blood went cold…