Featherlight Heart

Episode 16

Mercy looks at her as she goes on her knees, her eyes raised.
”What are you doing Diana?”
”Begging you!”
”What for, you can get off your knees because begging me won’t change it, my reservations against you is genuine” Mercy gets up and made to leave
”No ma, please… I beg you!!” Diana reaches out for her, Mercy steps away. Diana stops her from leaving, she had it all planned out, come here, beg the mother, tell her all the lies she can come up with, make her believe her, make her accept her as her son’s wife, and bingo!! Obstacle removed and she can get married to Emeka.. She can’t wait. All she has to do is to beg her, pretend, lie, how hard is it to act…? His mother would give in, she has to ”Mama please, I love your son, I beg you, accept me, I am not what you think, I love him, oh I love hi ” she pouts rubbing her hands together in a pretend plea, trying to touch Mercy
”Don’t touch me Diana” Mercy points to her ”Do you know why I don’t like you? It’s because you think I am, stupid and I can’t see past your facade, It’s because of your attitude, my son loved you, you weren’t there to see the boy you left break down, you weren’t there to see him cry, boys don’t cry, boys are told to never cry nor show their emotions, boys are told to be men even as a child and crying made them weak, boys albeit how little are trained to be men but for you Diana, for you… he cried liked a baby for days unending, for you… he almost gave up living and he would have if not for me, for you, he thrived to be better when he was able to break out from the water and began to breathe, because of you Diana, a part of him died, a part of his life shut away from others even from me most times but because I am his mother I have to reach out and love him even in his brokenness, his pain, I was the only woman who could come close to him, everyone he suspected, everyone he kept at arm’s length, everyone he didn’t even bother to like let alone love and after years and years of him trying to build himself and get back to solid ground, broken away from the wings of that broken boy, after achieving all this on his own, with hard work, broken back, dirty nails and knee deep in dirt…you come back into his life strolling as though you own him and you expect me his mother who almost watched him die from pain, depression, fallen sick, coupled with the fact that the man he called father, the man who he had loved as a boy turned away from him, from us, pushed us out on the streets, didn’t care if we survived or even died, didn’t care that his only son may hate him and me, his wife from his youth could die from the sickness that ravaged her body for months…Emeka, my boy had to take on that weight, taking care of his sick mother on the streets, a mother who was almost raped if not that God helped me, a boy who was stabbed in the stomach and God sent a stranger to help him if not he would have died on the streets and I wouldn’t have known what happened to him because I too was too sick to help myself, my son, despite it all worked hard, didn’t sleep, hardly ate, he took the insults, he took the shame, he took it all and yes I know it was difficult to have and love a boy who went from having everything to having nothing even his name was a curse to him, but he loved you Diana, I kept telling him I have no idea what love is…a nd how it works, but do you know what he tells me, he tells me..

“Mama, you say you don’t know what love is, let me tell you, love is not selfish, it’s not wickedness, love is sacrificial, love is taking risks, love is taking the pain of those you love, love is not materialistic, love is loving someone in their little and in their plenty, love is understanding that you may not have anything but having the one you love is everything, love is knowing that your husband is a serial cheat, a heartless b—–d, a man who would starve you, beat you and let you sleep on the floor while he has sex with girls old enough to be your daughter and yet ask you to make dinner for them, wash their cloths and not complain… love is knowing how much pain he brings to you on a daily and yet, instead of poisoning that food, instead of stabbing him while he isn’t looking, instead of causing harm to him, you rush to him and care for him when he falls ill, you go on your knees and pray for him when it becomes life threatening, because you accept and tolerate his short comings, I call that stupidity mama, I call it stupidity but even in that stupidity is love, because if you don’t feel something for him so strong that your senses jumps out the window, you wouldn’t stay even in your pain, you wouldn’t tell me not to hate him even when I want to kill him, you tell me to love and care for him and yes I know I am stubborn and that I may not have the heart that you have but mama, the love you have for your husband is unconditional, it is pure and undiluted and just because you say you don’t know what love is doesn’t mean you haven’t being loving this man your whole life since day one you married him, and love is forgiveness and tolerance and all that, but love is also pain, because your eyes never dries when the one who hurts you does so on a daily… love is happiness because it gives your heart contentment… but love is love, mama, you love him, you do, same as I love her, that despite how much she hurt me, left me out knowing that I was already a falling man, she pushed me”
“Do you know what else he tells me Diana? Is that he never expected you to take it all, the broken him, he just expected you to be true to your feelings and you weren’t, you lied, you stringed him along because of his name and his wealth and when he had none of that and was so honest to you, what do you do? You left him because he sold his car to take his sick mother to the hospital, you left him because he couldn’t buy you fancy things. Diana because you were only with him for the money and what he could give, you left him Diana, on your own and you left with his heart which you rolled off your sleeves and let it shatter ed to the ground, and do you know who helped him piece his broken pieces together, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t anyone but him… and I do not know if he succeeded in piecing it together. Your leaving him caused him to fall under I know my son, he became better at hiding his pain”

“I pray for a daughter in-law, for little children, because I won’t be here forever to love and care for my son unconditionally, I want to be happy that someone, who loves and understands him, who wouldn’t use his heart and toss it, who wouldn’t cling to him because he can buy her the world but who would cling to his heart because that is what makes a man, his heart and with his heart you can have his world… yes I pray Diana, but I didn’t pray for you…”

“So excuse me if I do not want you for my son, forgive me if I am against it because I will do anything to make sure you do not hurt my son the way you did before. I see your eyes Diana, because a girl who loved that boy would have reached out, would have stayed, maybe not forever but you would have left him because he was bad to you, rude to you, cheated on you or worse beat you, you would have broken up with him because you both spoke about it and maybe even if you couldn’t cope, you would have spoken to him, I understand it all Diana, and sometimes love isn’t enough…yes, I wouldn’t have blamed you, because truly love isn’t enough, but do you know what would have happened, you both would have pathed on a mutual level, maybe still have remained friends and coming back into his life would have been so easy because my son Emeka loved you, he held on to you for so long I thought I lost him, and now like a butterfly he broke out of it, soaring, living and you come back wanting to clip the wings and you think I will permit you? Look, listen to me and listen to me well, I am a mother and I love my son and if I feel anyone is a threat to him personally, physically, emotionally and even financially and otherwise, I will not sit down and fold my hands and let it happen, you have no idea what we have been through and because you also are a part of his pain on purpose, on purpose Diana, I do not want you to be part of his joy, let anyone else, not you.

And with that Mercy leaves her on her knees and walks out of the room,

Diana blinks back tears, that sharp pain in her chest rears its head again, she chokes, a tiny sob escapes her lips… the realization causes shock to vibrate through her entire body.

She didn’t realize, she never did realiz what her effect had on Emeka was, she didn’t.
”Oh God!!” she covers her mouth as the tears drop.

Here she came to plead with the mother to accept her, her plan was to get her to give a chance to win her over and that will in turn push Olive out, and she was going to pretend to even like her, but she gets the shocker of her life, all she said… touched her in ways she never thought it would, and a certain emotion washes over her, it was shame and guilt..

She shakes her head, wiping away tears…

No wonder his mother hates her so much, and right now she couldn’t blame her, she was right, she messed up, hurt him. And yes, she is marrying him for one reason and one reason alone, for what the man was not who the man is, that has always been her, her nature, material-ness was what drived her… all the guys she ever dated, it was what she could get, the money and life of luxury and where did it get her? When she was done taking and taking, she moves on to the next and as she got older, the men increased, but as they came they left, no one wanted to commit and she too wasn’t bothered, she never wanted to commit, she liked them well enough to date them, never enough to love them, to her, love equates money and love was never part of it. Her heart… have never known love, but if a man had a large account, she would smile and bat her lashes and then she and the guys were good.

Did she one day hope to fall in love, maybe. But she never looked hard enough, waited long enough or cared enough for any of them.

Emeka? Emeka had been one of her first at going for a guy for his rich status, he was sweet and loving then, maybe the best she had ever had as a boyfriend, why? Because he loved her, he did, other guys wanted her for her looks and body and the prestige they got dating a beautiful girl and she got their money and luxury in turn, but Emeka never tried to impress her even when he had it all, even as a boy in the university he was honest and straight forward and focus and he did things because it came from his heart, he made her smile and laugh, he was… different, and yet, she couldn’t love him because all she wanted was all she could get from him so she never bothered to see beyond that, to really see his heart and allow her heart to love, maybe because she was heartless, unloving… just maybe Mercy was right in her perception of her.

Just maybe all would have been different if she allowed herself to love him then, all this wouldn’t have been an issue now. Just maybe if she really loved him for him and not because of what he is, now… maybe, she wouldn’t t be feeling this shame and guilt.

Just maybe..

She wipes her eyes, his mother hates her, and she could not blame her, but she can’t do what she asked, to leave Emeka, not now. She can’t now.

She wants to marry him and she will, Olive wouldn’t be the one to take her place.

She sniffs getting up, maybe for once, for once she wouldn’t pretend, she really needs to make her forgive her, if that is the only thing she does right, if that is the only penance for her sins towards his mother, she would have to win her over, for her conscience. Nothing more.

But she can’t let go of Emeka, not after all this now.

She leaves the room deciding.

---

Emeka finishes up his last meeting, as the men file out of the office, he calls Agnes to let them the men he had asked for in.

After much talks , Jide, the one who is the leader asks,

“When do you want us to do this sir?”
“I am thinking after the engagement but you need to make it believable” Emeka tells them, they were security assigned to him from the police, the ones assigned undercover jobs,
”That’s fine, who do we talk to when we are under operation?”’

“Diana Nkenchior, my mother and Olive shouldn’t be harmed in anyway, no one is, just me, the make-believe”
”And the money?”
”She would see it, I will make sure she has access to it, the rest I believe she would act according to her instincts, a leopard never changes its spots!!”

They nod ”Very well sir, we would put up the necessary safety measures once we have liaised, then we would get back to you. We would be a team of four, I am sure you would deal with access into your compound and your securities and staffs to avoid opposition and unnecessary confrontations?”

”That is already been put into works, make sure your people are apprised and know what to do, uniforms, gears, everything, and then I will handle the rest.”

”Very well sir, and this district, run this by them sir?”
“That is great, I believe this shouldn’t be a problem, I have already had word with you superior, it is strictly off the books, and you will be paid for it, my accountant would contact you when it’s time, and point man would also do that”
”Okay sir!!” they shake hands and leave..
Emeka turns facing the window, Agnes walks in after knocking
”Sir, about what you asked for, would you want it delivered Sir to the house?”
”Yes Agnes, thank you!!”

He hears her shut the door behind her.
He is thinking really hard, in order for this to work.. she has to completely fall, she has to, that would only make it hurt even more, but despite that, he knows what she wants and for that he would leave out the crumbs for this and he knows she would bite the bait like a hungry dog. And he, he will never put his guard down, not around her again. And when she bites, he would come out showing his true colours, and break her in ways she would never believe he could.

But how does he make her fall, sweep her off her feet without being intimate with her, he would have to do other things, treat her nice and get her nice things, do everything because things such like kisses apparently aren’t just kisses, so he needs to avoid any form of intimacy with her.
But if it ever comes to the last retort, he sighs, he would have to be emotionless about it all, he just has to.

He looks at his time, he grabs his briefcase and he goes home, satisfied about the plans he had made for Diana and Ambross.

In a few weeks, it would begin.