Hidden Dreams

Episode 15

You pay a lot of money to see your child go to the best schools and have the best in life and then he throws everything out the window and for what? A Stupid dream, that can not take him anywhere in life.?” He burst out angrily.

I let his questions sink and looked up at him. ” God help me here” I said a little prayer before I opened my mouth.
” you are right sir, every parent’s desire is to see their children achieve great in life. I don’t have children yet but I believe when I finally do I will want the best for them.
I beg to differ however, on the issue of realisation of dreams. Tell me sir, have you ever had some dreams in your life?. That something that you so much wanted to do so much that you would sometimes close your eyes and smile at the vision of being that thing? ” I paused looking up at him.
” of course every normal person must have some kind of dream or vision whatever its normal but….”

“Just there sir” I held him up.
” with all due respect sir, don’t you think your son also has that right to have dreams of his own?. I see you are concerned about his well being but please you have to understand we are all not the same. Maybe its high time you took some moment to think of the reason why your son has not been performing well at school.

He’s scared inside. He can’t be free to express himself and that contributes to his weak performance. If you want to prove my words ask around and hear for yourself how he has improved over the weeks since he started dancing again. Why? ” I asked looking at him and Jay.
” it’s simple, he feels free and his mind is at peace. He can relate with his studies because his inner power is not being intimidated. Please sir am asking you to reconsider. Your son is no longer a kid you are right, but you have to understand every person reaches a stage of their lives where they too make up their own choices, the best we can do as teachers and Parents is to encourage them to develop positively so that they achieve their highest dreams and ambitions. Pushing him to the wall will only make things worse, please you have to let him free sir.

For some few minutes I saw him stay quiet like he was really giving my words a thought and when he raised his eyes at me I was almost running to the door. His deep stare scared me to death.
” you are now are telling me how to raise my own children. According to you his not performing as he should because am not doing what I ought to do as a father? May I remind you that am way older than you young lady and I have seen more than you have. This thing you call a passion or whatever has no future in this country.
Where is he going to work as a dancer? Tell me which institution is he going to get a job worthy talking about and live a life that is worthy while ? Stop being naive and unreasonable. I don’t want him to continue with this. Right now am going to talk to the headteacher and if you will in any way coerce or encourage my son to do this then it’s even better I withdraw him from this school. ” he snapped standing up.
“No!” I saw Jay standing up to his father. He was speaking for the first time since we started the discussion and I turned towards him.

” what is That?” His father shot him a stare.
” I said No, dad. You are not going to do such a thing. Come on father, am tired of all this. What is your problem with me really? . Tell me the truth today because honestly I can’t figure you out.

Why have you chosen to make my life difficult? I was doing okey until the time you decided to shoot down the only thing i always want to do. I have done all you ask and am not doing this anymore.” Jay spoke up tears falling his face.
” have you even sat down to think of what I really want? What makes me happy? Do you even consider the posibility thay i have a heart and feelings too.?

We can’t all be like you father. Am not as strong as you are, I can’t be an officer nor can I pass like my sister’s. Am my own person and am tired of everyone trying to make me into the kind of person they want.
I want to be free dad, I want to choose my own things and Ms Jere is right. Since I started dancing again I feel opened up and am doing well again.

Please let me be. Let me do something for myself as well father. I have always tried to sq££ze myself in a life you have set for me. Please” he begged puting his palms together.

I was now quite watching father and son and in my heart I felt proud Jay was standing up for himself.

But shockingly I saw his father raise his hand to hit him. Before I could say a thing to stop him. Jay quickly held his father’s hand and shouted, “don’t do that again father! Don’t cause I swear I will retaliate” he snapped his face showing off his anger.
” I will not allow you to disgrace me anymore if you want do what you want, disown me or whatever am not quiting dancing. Go on and leave with your intelligent children and leave me alone” he added before putting his hand down and stormed out without looking back. .

I was short of words as I watched col Zimba stare in the space without any words.
“Jay! ” I called out trying to ask him to come back but I saw him ran towards the hostels without looking back.
I now turned back defeated, expecting the worst from his father who remained on the same position without shaking.

Fear building up in me as I regained my posture and walked back to my seat.