Hidden Dreams

Episode 2

I woke up with a start as the alarm clocked 06 am. I slowly turned it off and lay on my bad facing the ceiling.

I heard the rain failing from outside the window. From the sound of the water falling from the roof to the paved small drainage outside, I could tell it was a heavy rainfall.
For a minute I thought of not getting off my comfortable bed. I held on to the smooth blanket on top of me and placed my hands in the warmth of my inside between my thighs.
“Oh God!” I whispered wishing I could be left to rest and out of the struggle that I was yet to face in school..
It was a Monday, adding salt to the wound, I had a first class with my biology teacher who evidently hated me. Well maybe cause I never got to pass his subject. But it was clear the man had a thing for rich kids and I was unfortunate to be from a rich family at the same time not a good performer in his subject..

I was lost in thoughts when I heard the maid call out my name from the other side of the door.

“Am coming aunty Nelly!” I shouted back. She knew I would take long to do as I told her so she opened the door and came in.
“I said am up and coming” i winned when she went straight to open the curtains and the wide windows.

“Uhhhh!” I hissed..
” come on Jared” aunty Nelly rebuked. ” you are going to school and if you dont get up any minute soon…..”
“Yeah I know,” I cut her.
” my father will be mad that am delaying the driver,” I finished her sentence..
” Yeah” she chuckled standing straight at me.

“I hate school” I whispered covering my face..

I was so free with aunty Nelly. The woman practically raised us. She was employed as a maid years back when I was only 7. We were more close to her than mother. Well.. especially myself.

To say the least, I loved her so much. It was the fact that she understood me and never judged me that caused me to get so close to her. She was easy to talk to and a good listener too.
“Get up lazy boy” she shouted pulling off the blanket.
“If your father heard that statement of you hating school, God help us” she let a laugh.
I jumped out of bed. I was just in my boxers and wasn’t bothered she was there. She watched me as I stretched myself and yawned loudly..

“What? Am up now.. Happy?” I smiled at her.
” am super happy” she smiled back widely.
” let me prepare breakfast for you guys. Be in the dinning room soon. You have about 10 minutes to finish bathing and dressing up” she added and slowly walked out closing the door behind her.
After some minutes I held my bag and walked to the dinning table.
“Good morning dad!” I called out to my father who was seated already going through the newspaper.
“Good morning” he responded without taking off his eyes from the paper.
My mother and sisters all walked in at once. Everyone was ready. My sister’s in their uniforms and my mum in a perfect black suit and heels making her look like a model. My mother had that sense of perfection.

Everything starting from her head to toes was always in order. She loved to look her best and my father always looked at her with admiration. Even though I never heard him recommend her in our presence.
“So honey, have you told your children you are going out of the country” mum spoke up as we ate.

Dad cleared his throat, ” well you all heard your mum am going out for a couple of months. I have some work to do in the US”
“Daddy bring me something nice!” Nina shouted. ” I would love a new iPhone and some catchy clothes” she added.
I looked at everyone make their demands. I couldn’t help feel sorry for myself. I was the oldest among the children in the house but I had no phone. According to my parents I would get a phone when I completed my school since they thought a phone got my attention from school. Which wasn’t the case with my sister’s.

I hated being around their cheering and shouting when I was heating up inside. What hurt the most, was that my parents didn’t even bother to ask if I wanted something too.
” what about you Jared? , what do you want dad to bring for you? ” Nina asked looking at me as I nibbled on my food.
“Nothing,” I answered calmly. Looking up from my plate.

I saw my parents exchange glances.
” You can tell your father what you want son. Everyone has made their demands. Am sure you want something,” my mom spoke up.

“The boy said nothing, so it means he doesn’t want anything.. why are you forcing him” my father responded harshly.
I looked at them straight up. I almost said something but dropped back my eyes.
I slowly pushed the chair back and excused myself.
“Jared! My father called me back as I just got to the other room.
“Sir!” I answered and walked back my head down.

“You are so rude You know that? Your stubbornness is so evident, It’s no wonder you never do anything right because you don’t want to be as expected. How dare you walk out on us when we are talking as a family?” He snapped.
“You have not even touched your food and yet someone had to work hard to put that food on your plate.”

I almost apologised but I recalled his words the previous night when he rebuked me for always apologising so instead I decided to give an excuse for walking out on them.
“I am not hungry father, and I had to check on something before the driver comes to pick me,” I explained without looking up at him.
” sonny! Is there anything you want to say to me or your mother here?. It’s either you are not hungry or busy doing something. It’s like you avoid being around any of us in this house.” Dad talked calmly but in a way that told me he was displeased yet again with me.
I was a cheerful boy before all this begun. I used to ran around the house and shout excitedly.

I used to ran to my father whenever he came back home from work.
Sometimes he took me alone out to some games and he would ask me to join him as he went to play golf with his friends.
But now I couldn’t stand him.
The first time I failed grade 9 exams I recall how angry my father was with me. I tried to work hard the following year but I still failed and he now turned his back at me . He would rebuke me for almost any thing and I lost my freedom and my joy over time.

I was becoming accustomed to being treated as an outcast just because I wasn’t the son they expected. I one day tried to talk to my father about my desire to dance and it made everything worse.

He scolded me for being a fool who didn’t value his life and had shallow dreams.
He told me he wanted me to make it big since I had everything I needed.

My parents made every thing seem so hard. The more they pushed me to work hard at school the further I felt draged away. Now I was just a living being with no sense of belonging. I felt like a stranger in my own home.

“Jared!” My mother raised her voice at me.
“Here we go again,” my sister Tina shrugged biting the piece of sandwich.
I gave her a stare. “Mind your own business” I whispered firmly.
“Mom and dad are talking to you and you have zoomed out on them. What’s your problem Jay?”
” your sister is right..” Dad answered. ” you don’t regard anyone in this house. You have decided to live in your own world.”
“The driver is here” aunty Nelly called out saving the moment.
“Excuse me,” I whispered and walked out as quickly as I could.

I heard my mother say something to dad but I didn’t bother to pay attention.
“Have you got your lunch box? ” aunty Nelly asked as i stood outside waiting for the driver to reverse the car so that he parked closer to the verander from the garage. It was still raining.

“No aunty, I am not taking it am not hungry” I said looking out. .
” Listen my son, you have to eat something, you haven’t had your breakfast and you won’t stay the whole day without food. Come on now do it for me” she held my hand.

I looked at her and I felt a strip of water in my eyes.

” it’s Okey, every thing will be Okey” she whispered tightening her hold on my hand. She looked sad and I was sure she felt for me. She always looked out for me more especially when everyone threw their insults and rebuked me.
“They hate me” I whispered back.
” I feel like an outcast.” I added.
“Don’t say that Jay, your parents love you. They just want what’s best for you. They want you to be happy”
I knew she was just saying it to comfort me. But her words didnt give me any comfort at all.
” and I love you too my handsome boy, you are the most handsome teenager I know” she smiled widely.
I could feel her love and I knew her smile was genuine.

“I love you too aunty Nelly ” I responded and let her hand go as the car stopped in front of us.
I was glad my sister’s where going with my father. Otherwise I could have had the longest drive to school.
I was fastening my seat belt when Aunty Nelly came to the window and handed me some money.

” at least get something to eat at school”she smiled.
I almost turned down her offer but she wouldn’t take a no for an answer..
Reluctantly I got the money and thanked her before the driver drove out the gate.