Hidden Dreams

Episode 22

Jay….
I was the talk of our school. Even my friends who laughed at my dancing were now admiring me. I was going to Paris the year after completing school and everyone envied me.

I had gone home and had a confrontation with my father who told me he didn’t have time to watch the competition because like he always told me, he wasn’t interested. My mother had however watched it and aunty Nelly told me she was so excited even though she didn’t tell me to my face.
” you will have to go to the university after you complete school. For me that’s settled. Your grades have improved am glad but that will not change my mind about this dancing thing. You won the competition and are going to study dancing? Then what? ?” My father glared at me.

” No way am going to sit here and watch you the son of colonel Zimba, become a clown to entertain people. There’s no future in dancing my son you have to understand that. Tell Me how are you going to even earn your income? Or are you planning on going to college after the dance school?”

I wanted to leave his sight at that particular moment but I decided to take it easy. Recalling how Ms Jere had practically forced me to promise I wasn’t going to have another confrontation with my father.
” don’t go there and pick a quarrel with him. Let him speak his mind he’s your father. Just know what you want and let it go” she had advised and I agreed to do as she asked.

That time after we got to school she went back to being my dance teacher and I didn’t bring up the topic of my feelings again. Her eyes told me a million words and I needed not to push her. She wasn’t going to tell me she loved me as long as I was her student and her, my teacher.

Even when I was dying to get close to her I talked myself out of it and kept my distance.

My days became better as I had the motivation to study harder. One was to prove my self worthy and make it through grade 12 with results that would make my family consider me as a part of them.

The second motive was to prove myself as a man to the woman I had deeply fallen in love with. I just had to man up and ensure I became what she derseved.

Tracy and I had become close and the only reason I allowed it that far, was to cover up my love for Ms Jere. She had accused me of having an affair with her claiming that someone told her I was seen coming from Ms Jere’s room the night at the lodge. I couldn’t let her go on announcing that news.
so I ensured I painted a picture that she was my girlfriend even though we were not really in any kind of relationship of intimacy. .with time the news faded and I was glad. I feared for my dear Mistress if people were to start talking about us.

That day my father was shouting I didn’t respond. I let him say all he had and slowly walked away when he was done. But before I did I calmly told him,
” am sorry you feel that way father, but I will not let anyone else define my life now. I am 20 and am sure I can make my own decisions,” I responded calmly looking at mom and dad who sat across the table.

My mother seemed more supportive even though it was evident she didn’t want to go against her husband.