Hidden Dreams

Episode 23

Months later…..
I was to write my final exams in a week’ s time and I was determined to study harder. John who always stood by me helped me through the most difficult subjects and i was glad my mind was now acquainted with some contents.

Even though my father was behaving harsh with me. He still paid up my tuition fees whenever I was home so I was confident I was going to pass even if it meant getting credits in all the subjects, for me that was good enough.

” why lie to myself I would get 6 points man” I had told John one day as we did our studying.

” you can do it Jay, we all can let’s just work hard” he encouraged me but I didn’t want to set my standards higher than I could achieve.

” am okey with credits man, believe me I don’t intend to do anything else apart from dancing. So why kill myself. 6 points is for you John and my own is making it through grade 12 as long as I pass.” I exclaimed and John shook his head.
” you my friend are something else. But I know there’s no point in trying to tell you otherwise. I have come to understand you and even when you are having some hard time getting on a good page with your old man, am sure he will one day appreciate you. You are a dreamer and with this kind of determination you will surely get what you want” He went on talking.
” mnmmm you surely have grown my man John I guess being 18 is really giving you some maturity” I teased him as I patted his back.

We both laughed before we started our studying.
” can I talk to you for a minute?” Tracy came over and I almost turned her down. The push on my shoe from John made me to stand up and follow her outside.
” what is it Tracy?” I asked not wanting to waste my studying time.
” Walk me to the other class I have something to ask you” she insisted.
I followed her as she walked close to me. She had been chosen head girl that year and so she had her own office. Instead of going to the class she had mentioned, she turned towards her small office and I sighed hating her hesitation to tell me what she called me for.

” Jay , we are completing school in a month’s time and I want to ask the way forward since we have not really talked about us” she spoke up after we got to her office and she sat down whilst I remained standing leaning to the wall.

I almost burst out laughing, but I quickly stoped myself before the laugh could escape my mouth. For me it was funny cause as far as I knew we had nothing going on. The only thing I knew was the fact that we were friends and nothing more.
” are you trying to laugh at me Jay?” She scoffed

” oh no, no” I raised my hand to my face.
” oh God, Tracy, you are so beautiful and a d–n hot girl. Sure you are the envy of most guys in this school.”
” But?” She asked accusingly. Like she knew what I would say next wouldn’t be what she expected.
” how do I put this?” I asked loudly.
” listen, I don’t want to sound rude to you and ruin our friendship but I don’t think we needed to talk about anything concerning us” I said pointing my hand at her and back at myself.

We cannot possibly have any plan if we never started anything.
” So you are saying you don’t love me?” She said almost in a whisper.
” I love you Tracy but only as a friend am sorry if I gave you a different impression. I was even getting to think you are going out with Oswald before he went.”

“That was to get you jealousy” she cut in.
” oh okay” I sighed slowly hitting my head on the wall as I picked my next words.
” well am sorry whatever the case I wasn’t even jealousy because for me you have always been my good friend and I didn’t think you expected something more.” I told her honestly.

” is it because of Ms Jere? ” she asked.
“here we go again” I snapped moving from the wall.

” am not doing this with you again Tracy. That woman has not done anything to you and for some reason you are always jealousy of her. Am leaving now if you don’t mind I got to get to my books some of us are not naturally intelligent and we need to put in our best to pass” I stepped forward to go.
She quickly got in front of me and smiled.
” am sorry I brought her up I can’t just help feel she’s the reason you won’t look at me in the way I want you to , I love you Jay and am tired of waiting for you to see me and ask me to be with you already. We will soon go out there and I want you as my boyfriend” she added holding my chest.
” am sorry I can’t. I don’t feel the same. You have to get over those feelings cause we are not going to have anything between us” I told her calmly and walked out.
Her insistence got to my nerves when she ran after me and when she caught up, she blocked my way and tried to have me kiss her.
At that moment I saw Angela (Ms Jere) passing along the corridors but I was sure she saw me even when she kept her eyes on her phone as she went forward.

” let me go!” I snapped feeling the urge to ran after Angela and explain the awkwardness Tracy was putting me in.