Kpakpa Grammer School

Episode 2

Jack: [quickly takes his hand off from Tracy’s c-unt and raises his both hands up] na my hands be this oh [everyone turns back and sees his fingers glittering with Tracy’s w-et and they all laughs]

Mr. Okoro: will you all keep quiet! [normalcy returns to the class] am teaching, you dey busy dey look for hidden treasures [everyone laughs] oya define puberty?

Jack: [scratches his head and stretches his locked hands forward and then places it on his head] sir, issit me?

Mr. Okoro: [groans in frustration] no, na your papa wey dey bush dey tap palm wine [everyone laughs]

Jack: [hisses] I sabi am, shey na to define puberty? [The class echoes his name] puberty can be define as an age, wey your broom [uses his finger to demonstrate] turns to cucumber, and if you get cassava it will turn to tuber of yam. Black black grasses go start to grow for here [touches his armpits] and here [touches his g—n]

Mr. Okoro: class clap for the moron! [His classmates starts clapping and cheering him, Jack raises his both hands up in happiness] will you buttocks down! [Jack quickly sits and everyone laughs] lets continue, no mumu should disturb the class again oh.

A student wearing a black short and a white shirt came out of SSS2 class checking his time, he picked up the bell by the side of the corridor pillar and jingled it twice.

Mr. Okoro peeped through the SSS1 classroom’s window.

Chinonso: [shouts] change of lesson. [and drops the bell]

Mr. Okoro: [checks his wristwatch once again] Chinonso, na African man time or Western time, you dey use?

Chinonso: [groans when he sees Mr. Okoro] sir, your time no dey correct oh. [he runs into SSS2 classroom]

Mr. Okoro: stupid boy, born by mistake and result of broken condom [he turns and sees a paper bounces on Adaora’s desk and falls on the floor] who throw this paper?

Adaora: [gets up from her desk chewing gum] sir, as you open the window naso the paper fly enter from outside.

Mr. Okoro: [charges angrily] small br_easts sit down! [everyone laughs and Adaora sits]

Mr. Okoro went to were the folded paper is on the floor and picked it up, he went to his table and took his lens then wore it.

Mr. Okoro: [clears his throat loudly and reads] you sure say Emeka okoroafor don reach puberty age as Jack explain am? em thing no big pass my middle finger when em stand [everyone starts laughing] who throw this paper? [everywhere becomes silent] who is Emeka Okoroafor?

Emeka: [gets up from his desk with his hand up] sir, na me be Emeka. my papa na Okoroafor.

Class: [starts singing] Emeka where you go? I go shit. Wey the shit? dog don chop am!

Mr. Okoro: will you all keep tranquility! [he thunders and everybody keeps quiet] how many years you dey son of Okoroafor?

Emeka: I don reach twenty years.

Class: [starts singing] papa sss1! papa sss1!! papa sss1!!!