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Episode 5

Since that day, I tripled his salary and made him give it to me anywhere in the house, including the kitchen. Sometimes, I would tell him to call his wife and tell her that he wouldn’t come home that night so that he could spend the night with me and today, he’s still my service machine. Even if my husband returns and doesn’t satisfy me, I sneak to meet Akpan to fill in the remaining gaps and till today, my cook is still my service machine.” I finished narrating and Winifred who had been listening in awe, now had a hand over her mouth.

“But are you women not scared that your husbands might find out?”
I flinched my mouth at her. “Get caught? We are professionals in this game and we already have everything planned. And why should anyone of us be angry with the other when our husbands are fond of keeping side chicks whom they pick from universities and pay their flights to Abuja so they can spend the weekend together.”
Winifred sighed. “I trust David, he will never cheat on me.”
She gave a wicked chuckle. “Trust all you want until you discover that you have a white co-wife who doesn’t even know that you exist.”

I saw the doubt and fear cross Winifred’s features and I knew that she knew that I actually had a point. “How long has your husband been gone for now?” I asked.
“A month and a week.” She answered.
“Good, yours is still fresh but do you know why yours will be much worse than ours?”
“No, why?” She asked.
“Because you married him a virgin.” I said, “In case you don’t know, your husband just opened a big void in you. Virgins are always hungry for sex in the first stages of their sexual lives and your loving husband is not even within reach to sate your needs. Ours is even better, at least we know where they are, in Abuja, Port Harcourt, Lagos or Dubai for one business or the other and we can easily go and meet them if we want to, compared to yours who’s far away in Canada, tell me, how will you cope with that?” I asked.

She swallowed hard and then feebly said as she slowly shrugged a shoulder. “Masturbate?
I scoffed, “mastur-what?” I chuckled. “My sister, there’s nothing like a real, warm, throbbing John-thomas! Go and get yourself one before you lose your mind from the urge.” I laughed and slapped her knee. We discussed other issues and soon I left. I telling Winifred about Akpan had made me h—y and I couldn’t wait to get back home to receive some brutal smashings.


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