Loving Ashe

Episode 18

Holding Patterns

They were fast asleep when Ashe’s phone buzzed from somewhere on the floor.

At first, Riley had dreamt that she needed to be at work, but seconds before she would have leaped out of bed and rushed to get ready, she realized two things. First, she was off work for the next three days so there was no need to jump out of bed. And second, there was a man in her bed where there hadn’t been since she bought her apartment. But then she remembered who he was, and she nudged Ashe softly and mumbled something about his phone ringing. 3

“Oh, God, so sorry,” Ashe muttered as he searched for his phone on the floor, easing his arm from under Riley’s head as he did so. A woman’s voice screeched from the other end of the line even before Ashe put the phone to his ear.

“You were supposed to be at the gala last night, Ashe,” Collette said. “Because of your damn no-show, you might just have lost your title role to Gareth. He pulled off the accent in front of the studio execs that were there. He pulled it off, Ashe! And I don’t care if you look more like Conley than Gareth does, that’s what the make-up team is for!” 1

“Can we talk about this later?” Ashe asked calmly, his voice thick with sleep. “It’s six in the bloody morning, Collette.”

“I’m just giving you a heads-up, Ashe, because it’ll be in the trades in a few hours and I warned you about this. If you don’t play well with others, you won’t make it in this business, and I’m tired of you being too damn independent and doing your own thing even after I tell you again and again that it’s my job to handle things!”

“What are you worried about, Collette? They’re using my screenplay. Wasn’t that why I was in L.A. the whole time? And don’t forget that I own the rights to the songs,” Ashe said, exhaling. “I’ll speak to you later.”

“Where are you? I had the driver stop by your place, and the doorman said you hadn’t come home.”

“It’s none of your bloody business where I am, Collette, but I’ll call you later,” Ashe said and hung up the phone. He turned to Riley. “I’m so sorry.”

“I guess it’s true when they say Englishmen always say sorry, but I forgive you,” Riley said, burying herself deeper under the covers. “But couldn’t she talk a bit louder? I might have missed a word here and there.”

“She’s upset,” Ashe said, lying back on the pillows and pulling her toward him. “She prides herself on making a nobody into a somebody, so whenever I don’t play along, she gets quite upset—even when I have actually played along already. It doesn’t matter to her that I was already making movies in England before she met me, but that I became a Hollywood name because of her managerial efforts.”

Riley laid her head on his chest, her body nestled in the crook of his arm. She didn’t really want to talk business—at least not this early in the morning, but with Collette’s screaming, even she was as wide awake as Ashe.

“Is that what she did with you’re packaged you for the American market?”

“My success didn’t happen overnight though she’d like to think that it did. I was already working when she met me. British TV mainly—specials, mini-series, and a few movies. Supporting roles, that sort of thing, so there was no need for repackaging, or at least, not too much, I hope. I’m still mostly me and I’ve paid my dues to be where I am today.”

“Is that what Gareth went through? That repackaging?” Riley asked. “If I remember correctly, Gareth’s career skyrocketed overnight. It seemed like he went from 0 to 60 in two minutes flat.”

“That’s because of Collette. She calls it her Fast Track to Fame 101, or, at least, Gareth and I call it that, and for which she exacts a higher commission when it works because it does,” Ashe said, twirling a lock of her hair around his index finger.

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“How?”

Ashe shrugged. “Choreographed public appearances, even if it’s just to get a cup of coffee. With everyone and their camera phones these days, it’s not difficult to get a lot of money for pictures of me just doing everyday things. Or Gareth and Isobel on the balcony of Chateau Marmont. A hundred dollars here, some social media followers there. There’s much incentive for making money without doing anything but snap a picture.”

“I’ll never figure social media out.”

“As for me, I took the slow route, though I did have help from this woman I was with then – a theater actress who has since retired. Still, I’ve been working since I was eighteen, modeling first, then after graduating from RADA, I worked with the RSC. I also did a small film—” 1

“The one with a full frontal naked shot of you?” Riley interrupted, smiling.

“Yes, though I hope you’ve seen the whole movie,” he replied, eyeing her suspiciously. “It’s called Besties.”

“Was that the title? I thought it was called Ashe’s—” 6

“Stop it,” Ashe said, smacking her playfully on her buttocks over the covers. “In case you missed the storyline—because there was a storyline—it was about two best friends who end up as lovers and go back to being best friends again. I wrote the screenplay, and my friends said I might as well play the title role since there were no takers, not with the prospect of a full-frontal shot. It wasn’t necessary, but we knew it would cause a stir.” 1

“You’d think people would line up for the exposure. It was an excellent shot, by the way, at least from the online GIFs I found,” Riley chuckled, reaching down beneath the covers to touch him, but Ashe caught her hand, shaking his head.

“So, I did two more films before deciding to try my luck in Hollywood,” he continued. “But when too many talented blokes like me are after the same job, it’s quite easy to get lost in the slush pile of glossies.” 1

“Do you regret any of it?”

He shook his head, his face turning serious. “Without the money I made acting, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish many of the things I was able to do on a personal level. I know my looks won’t last forever, so I’ve always been looking out for other opportunities as well.”

“Like producing and directing?”

“Yes,” Ashe said. “Though I prefer producing to directing a film.”

“So what is this about Gareth getting the accent down? I thought you had that part already,” Riley said, propping herself up on her elbow to look at him.

“It started out as an independent film, one that I wrote based on late singer, Conley Brennan. And if it remains an independent film, then basically I have the part,” he said. “But with Abe Reign purchasing the rights to the screenplay and wanting to make his own version with a bigger budget, then I suspect Gareth will get the lead role instead of me. And Isobel will be playing opposite him, which she was already slated to do in the independent production.”

“But then you broke up.”

“Then we broke up, yes,” Ashe said. “The project’s been on hold until now.”

“Is that why Gareth’s with Isobel, to get more roles through her father’s studio? Was that why you were with her?”

“That was part of the repackaging my image. I’d be Isobel’s latest knight in shining armor although we were already seeing each other then. We started dating while filming Sentience and that lasted about a year till I had to return home,” Ashe replied. “But don’t get me wrong, Riley. There was nothing fake or repackaged about how I felt for her then. It’s just that when I left, someone had to be by her side and not make it look like I dumped her.”

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“Did you? Dump her, I mean?” Riley studied his face, looking for the sign that would tell her she’d expect the same thing, and probably much sooner than Isobel did.

“I had no choice, Riley. Life intervened and I had to return to Reeth and take care of personal things,” Ashe replied, his face distant “In fact, I’ve only recently returned. The day I met you was my first day back after the movie premiered at Cannes without me.”

“What happened?” Riley asked, seeing a pained expression cross his face as he glanced away. “I’m sorry if I’m prying, but don’t you think I have a right to know some things about you other than what the tabloids say? Unless this is a one-night stand—”

“This is not a one-night stand, Riley-I-Am, not if I can help it,” Ashe said, kissing her on the forehead. “Unfortunately, sometimes I’m too private for my own good, and it’s not because I want to keep things from you, or shut you out. It’s because it still hurts that she’s gone.” 1

Riley didn’t know what to say. She knew what she wanted to ask, but didn’t like to. What hurt? Why? Who was gone? Had Paige been right when she’d told Riley that Ashe’s girlfriend had died four months earlier and that he had a child? But hadn’t Ashe just said that he’d been dating Isobel at that time?

But Isobel was alive and well. Still, Riley didn’t want to push him into telling her any more than he was willing to share. She felt a deep connection with Ashe. Like him, she’d kept her feelings hidden from everyone else, making them believe she was fine after Gareth had left her when she was actually far from fine. She never told anyone how she’d bought drugs with the money that Gareth had given her and then tried to kill herself. But then, Riley found herself wondering if Ashe really needed to know that right now.

“It was my sister,” Ashe said. 19

“Your sister?” Riley said, surprised. “I’m sorry, but Paige told me that it was your girlfriend who died.” 8

“You can’t believe everything you read or hear, Riley. Hazel was one of the reasons why I decided to leave London and take my chances on Hollywood, where most of the big money was being spent. That’s when Collette came into the picture and became my manager. I’d never needed one before in London, only an agent and a lawyer, and I was working quite steadily. But after two years of supporting roles here—the Englishman at the bar, the henchman who gets what he deserves in the end, the best friend who never gets the girl, that sort of thing—I decided to see what Collette could do for my career.”

“So she repackaged you.”

Ashe nodded. “She repackaged me, yes, and she helped me get the roles I eventually landed, parts that finally got me noticed by the right people. That’s what matters in this business. It’s not so much what you know or that you’re actually good doing what you do, but whom you know. And luck, of course. Someone, a casting director or a producer, might be searching for someone who looks just like you and he’ll say, ‘That’s him. That’s who I want.’ It’s being at the right place at the right time. But of course, once you do get through that door, you better have what it takes to keep on going.”

He was tracing the outline of her cheekbones with his index finger as he spoke, his thumb continuing down to pinch her chin.

“I was able to afford to pay for Hazel’s treatments to be carried out here in States. Radiation, chemo, even experimental drugs when all else had failed,” he continued.

“What did she have?”

“Leukemia,” Ashe replied. “She was in remission for a few years before it came back. Then we treated it and she was in remission again. She was only twenty-three when a simple cold finally got her six months ago, just because she wanted to see her big brother work on location, despite doctor’s orders. But she was simply so excited that I’d snagged this role and she just had to see me act in a big-budget Hollywood movie.” 1

Ashe’s eyes grew distant as he spoke, and all Riley could do was to bring her arms around his neck and hold him, feeling his arms tighten around her in turn.

“I’m so sorry, Ashe,” Riley whispered. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“My niece, Rowan—Hazel’s daughter—lives with her father back in Reeth. It’s because of her that I stayed back home as long as I did,” he said, shifting against the pillows so he could look at her face, his gaze focused on her once again. “I hid for months after Hazel died, not wanting to do anything but feel sorry for myself. If I didn’t have to fulfill the promotions for Sentience or have a queue of other projects to keep me busy for the next two years, I’d still be at home wishing I could have done more for her.” 1

“But something happened in that elevator,” he continued, smiling. The fingers of one hand twined in her hair while the other cupped her face as she lay there. “Maybe it was that weird get-this-dress-off-me dance that you were doing, or maybe it was the way you told me what had happened upstairs, how you’d changed your mind about having your heart broken again. Hearts are fragile, after all, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that they’re not. Afterward, I loved the way you sprang twenty questions on me, and tripped on one of them so adorably-” 1

“I didn’t really trip up on that one,” Riley said, blushing.

“I know,” Ashe said and for a few moments, they were silent, just holding hands and enjoying each other’s company.

“Ever since Hazel died, I’ve realized that life is too short to just keep myself in a holding pattern in the middle of nowhere just because I believed it was the safest place to be,” Ashe said softly. “But it’s also the loneliest place to be—and I don’t want to be there anymore.”

He pulled her face toward him and kissed her gently.

“Where do you want to be now?” Riley asked, inhaling the scent of his skin against her cheek. The stubble along his jaw grazed her face lightly.

“Right here with you,” Ashe replied, his voice deepening as his gaze moved to her lips. 3

Riley ran her hand down his torso, his stomach muscles rippling under her fingers, and found him already hard beneath the covers. He gasped when she wrapped her hand around him.

She bit her lower lip as she watched him, his heavy-lidded eyes growing darker as his body tightened beneath her. She’d forgotten how tired she was, and she was sure that Ashe had forgotten as well, his eyes narrowing as he watched her every move. She drew closer to kiss him lightly on the lips, her hand never leaving him as she stroked her palm across the length of him, feeling silken wetness along the tip.

There was no more room for words. His breath hissed, warming her neck as she ran her palm across the crown, coating him. When she brought her hand down his full length, squeezing gently before moving her hand up again, Ashe pulled her face down toward his and kissed her.

Riley captured his tongue in her mouth as she shifted on top of him. She wanted to feel him inside her, filling every part of her. She wanted to discover him and hear him gasp her name as she took charge this time. She wanted him to do nothing but relish her, watch her and feel her. She wanted to watch him let go.

Riley felt as if she knew his body as well as he knew hers. She knew what made him tremble beneath her touch, the things she could do that would make him beg for more. When her lips left his mouth to travel down his neck and chest, nibbling his nipples on the way down to the six-pack abs that defined themselves with each tightening of his body against the onslaught of her mouth, her tongue, and her hands, she also knew that for now, Ashe was hers.