My Escapades In The North

Episode 9

For the record, I never fantasize about women much older than me (except my aunt’s friend when I was in primary school and my lesson tutor when I was in JSS2 and my Biology teacher when I was in SS3 and a lady at my mum’s place of work and…). Ok, I did fantasize about older women, but that was when I was much younger. I had totally changed my orientation (or so I thought).

Schedule Officer: Hello? Snaps her fingers close to my face

Me: ** ߘ* Huh?? Oh, I’m sorry ma…

Schedule Officer: Are you ok?

Me: Uhmm, yes ma…

Schedule Officer: Are you sure?

Me: Yes ma…

Schedule Officer: Can we continue now?

Me: Yes ma…

Jeez!! I felt so embarrassed. I was so carried away and lost track of the fact that I was actually supposed to be taking the Oath of office before other corp members and invited guests. This was really embarrassing. Anyway as a sharp guy, I quickly got back myself and flowed with the occasion.

I noticed that there were some ‘chicks’ among the new corp members posted to my CD group. Nice! I was later called upon to give a speech and I put on my A-game when delivering it and it was awesome (so my fans said).

After the program, my Schedule Officer (Malama Aisha) was walking to her car when I sighted her.

Me: Ma, thank you for coming, we really appreciate…

She: Oh, Dioxidane it’s nothing… That reminds me, what happened to you earlier?

Me: Ma it’s nothing really…

She: Are you sure?

Me: Yes ma…

She: Ok if you say so… We really need to meet sometime next week, there are some things about the CD group you need to be acquainted with…

Me: Ok ma. When would you be chanced ma?

She: Let’s make it next tuesday afternoon…

Me: Ok, no problem ma…

She: Here’s my card… Call me…

Me: Ok ma… Thanks ma…

I was walking back to the hall when I met two ladies coming out of the hall…

Lady 1: Presido…

Me: U go fear hyping na Heyyyy, hope you girls enjoyed the party…

Lady 1: It was cool…

Lady 2: You guys tried… It was really well organized…

Me: Hmm, I’m really glad you enjoyed it… I’m Dioxidane…

Both laughs

Lady 2: Of course we know… We are in your CD group…

Me: Oh, that’s nice… That means we get to see your lovely faces every week…

Both laugh

Me: So you are? Facing Lady 1

Lady 1: Oh, I’m Sandra…

Lady 2: I’m Rejoice…

Me: Wow, lovely names… Hope you would make us rejoice. Are you girls leaving already?

Sandra: Yeah, it’s getting late already and we are kinda new in town…

Me: Laugh Don’t worry, the town is very safe…

Rejoice: Yeah, we would still love to leave now…

Me: No probs, lemme go and join the others… You girls should take care of yourselves…

As I turned to leave, Rejoice asked for my number and I gave it to her…

I was so tired when I got home that day. I wonder how I had my bath and slept. I woke up around 4am. I checked my phone and saw 14missed calls. Jeez! Was I that tired that I couldn’t hear my phone ring?? I checked and saw that 3 of the calls were from my mum, 3 an international number (Nkem obviously), 3 from Zainab, 2 from Lizzy (my friend in Lagos) and 3 from an unknown number.

I made a mental note to call them later in the morning. I tried checking my mail and browsing on my phone but soon found out that the phone was actually browsing me. I realized that I was still tired so I slept off again.

I woke up around 10am that day. Jeez!! I was already late for service!!! I decided to skip service that day and wash some of my clothes since I couldn’t do so the previous day.

I tried calling the numbers that called me the previous night but none of them picked ** :'( Na wa o, na only me no go service sha :'( **.

I washed my clothes, prepared and ate breakfast and was watching a movie on my laptop when my phone rang.

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hi Dioxidane, it me Sandra…

Me: Sandra :-\?

Caller: Yes, Sandra in your CD group. We met yesterday at the welcoming party…

Me: Oh, Sandra… Of course I remember you… How you doing?

Sandra: I’m fine… You didn’t go for service?

Me: Uhmm, no… You just closed, I guess…

Sandra: Yes…

Me: And how was service?

Sandra: It was marvelous…

Me: Wow… That’s cool…

Sandra: Dioxidane where do you stay sef?

Me: Huh??? Uhmm, around Kofar Kaura…

Sandra: Rejoice and I just came back from church and we were kinda bored…

Me: Eya…

I heard Rejoice say in the background, ‘tell him we want to visit him’…

Sandra: Dioxidane, we want to visit you o…

Me: Oh, really?

Sandra: Yeah, or is your babe around?

Me: Laughs Naa, you can come over…

Sandra: Thanks… Prepare something for us o…

Me: I hear…

Sandra: Please text the address to my phone…

Me: This is your number, right?

Sandra: Yes…

Me: Ok, I’ll send it to you now…

Sandra: Ok, we would soon be there…

About an hour later, I got a call from Sandra. She told me they had difficulty locating my place. Seriously??? I went to the end of the street before I saw them and I waved them over.

We went in and we were gisting when I got a call from a friend.

Me: Hello…

Prince: Baba, what up…

Me: Boss, I’m good o… What’s happening?

Prince: Where are you?

Me: I’m home…

Prince: Oboy show for Fadama, tinz dey happen for here…

Me: Reaalllly!! What’s happening?

Prince: Jude just got a car, he’s celebrating it…

Me: Oboy!! I dey show there right away…

Prince: We’ll be expecting you…

Me: No probs boss…

Sandra: What’s happening?

Me: One of my guys just got a car and they asked me to come celebrate with them

Rejoice: Wow, that’s nice… Are we invited?

Me: Of course, you both would be my guests…

Rejoice: Ohhh, you such a darling…

Me: :-\

And so we went out and walked to the bus-stop waiting to get a bike. As we were waiting, a car that already passed us by, reversed and stopped in front of us. The front glass was rolled down and I realized it was Zainab’s mum. Her husband was driving while Zainab and Salim sat behind.

Zainab’s Mum (ZM): Mr Dioxidane…

Me: Good afternoon ma… Good afternoon sir…

ZM: How are you?

Me: I’m fine ma…

ZM: This is your area right?

Me: Yes ma, I stay around here…

She was saying to her husband, ‘wannan shi malami Salim’.

Zainab’s Father (ZF): Oh, you are the Mr Dioxidane they’ve been talking about…

Me: It’s an honor to meet you sir…

ZF: It’s ok, they’ve actually been telling me lots about you and I’ll say you’ve really done a good job on Salim. it’s good to finally meet you… Where are you guys headed?

Me: Oh, we just want to visit a friend around here…

ZF: Ok, you guys should take care…

ZM: Mr Dioxidane take care…

Me: Thank you ma…

And they zoomed off…

Some minutes later, I got a text message on my phone. It was from Zainab.

“So that’s how you go about with girls because you felt I wouldn’t see you, right?”

Can you imagine??? She dey mad???

I ignored the text. Some minutes later she called but I didn’t answer. We went to the party and it was fun all the way until we were about leaving……

I was tipsy. Ok not too tipsy, but a little bit tipsy. You know that feeling you get when you are high and in the midst of hot girls? Yeah, I felt that way at that moment.

All the while Sandra and I had been gisting/flirting while Rejoice who was gisting with one of my friends was stealing glances at us.

Sometime later, Sandra asked if I knew where the convenience was and I pointed the direction to her. On a second thought, ‘You know what? Don’t worry, I’ll show you’, I said as I took her hands and helped her to her feet.

She began to walk in front of me. She looked back at me, smiled and I could swear I saw her bite her lips as she started to walk a couple of feet ahead of me.

She was wearing a blue top and a black skirt which went to about half way down her thighs. I watched her a$s, hypnotized by the way she was swinging it. ** ߘ–n, this babe no go kill me**

When I got to the door that led to the corridor where the gents and ladies were, I found her holding it open for me. I smiled and said ‘thanks’. She smiled back at me and then bit her lip again. *Jeez! What’s with the biting of lip sef :-*

We stood looking at each other awkwardly for some seconds, then she reached her arm out and kind of tapped me on the arm.

** :oChisos! :o**