Shadow Of Love

Episode 47

William: So, where do we go?

I paused for a while, thinking of the places I had wanted to go with my boyfriend. We were at William’s apartment and resting after eating beans and roasted plantain (bought out of course). It’s been three days since I found out the relationship between Tobe and Claire and believe you me, it’s being three tear filled days. I had locked myself up, refused to speak with my friends, Claire herself had been worried, she kept sending messages, asking me to open the door and tell her what’s eating me up. My cheating ex has also being calling but who sigh? It was the third day after that William got me out actually. I didn’t know he always sat in my sitting room, waiting to know if I’ll come out by chance. That day, I looked at my room which was littered with empty cans of water and decided to do something. I’ll take them out to the kitchen, refill them and bring it back to refrigerate in my room. I got out of the room with my arms filled to the brim with cans when I saw him. He was sitting on my favourite couch with his hands clamped to his fine jaw as if he were praying, but he wasn’t. He had his eyes on me but still looked quite calm and handsome.

That moment, my legs felt weak and I had to struggle with the cans just to get hold of myself. What was happening to me?
He stood up and walked towards me in slow steps. I let the cans drop and they scattered to different directions in the sitting room.

Will: Baby look at you.

He enveloped me in his arms and I felt like paper. I couldn’t stop my hands from going round his body as I sniffed in his scent. He smelled good. He released me and I pulled away, doing a double check if I should pick the cans or just walk back to my room.

Will: Look at yourself, what are you doing to yourself?
I shook my head and the first tear dropped, running down my cheek and stopping just on top of my upper lips, tingling it before it went down a little to my open mouth. I closed my mouth and tasted the salty evidence of my weakness.

Will: Staying in the confines of your room won’t help you. You need to come out of your misery and move on with your beautiful life.

He came closer and held my arms, causing me to look up at him.

Will; Pamela, you are beautiful, you’re intelligent, you’ve got a good heart, why let some people with ill luck turn you into a sadist? Why let them break you? Pamela look, you’ve got a long life ahead of you, why let this one thing kill you?

He stopped, then pulled me to a chair and I sat like a zombie, allowing his words to sink in.
Will: So what if you’ve spent a year with him? A year is nothing compared to the years ahead which you’re trying to destroy now. So what again if you love him? He didn’t deserve you, he doesn’t know what he lost by going for someone else after you gave him your loyalty. It shouldn’t be you who should cry or bother yourself. It should be that guy. He’s the one who should lock himself indoors for days and cry bitterly for letting this precious one go.