So Not Love

Episode 22

The lanky one heaved a sigh. “My brother, na so we see am. If I say I no tire for this country people, na lie I dey lie. We go dey here, dey receive nonsense salary and dey also risk our life for this country, na im some mumu girls because of small f–k go go dey spoil our name for outside. If dem think say na so police work easy, make dem come do am na. Make dem come do am. (My brother, that’s how we met it. If I say that I’m not tired of the citizens of this country, then I’m lying. We are here, receiving meagre salaries and also risking our lives for this country club and yet some girls, all because of little sex, we’ll go around ruining the Nigerian police name. If they think that it’s easy to be a policeman then they should come and do it. They should come and do it.) He angrily said, leaning with his forearms on the counter.
Tired of their irrelevant talks, I loudly cleared my throat to ignore them. At first, they only glanced back at me then ignored me but when I did it again, the lanky one shot me a hard look. “Something dey do you? (Is something wrong with you?)” He asked angrily.

“Abeg, Mr. Policeman, my throat don dry, I fit see water drink? (Please, Mr. Policeman, my throat has gone dry, can I get some water to drink?)” I asked.
The shorter one turned from the counter to fix a disgruntled look at me. “You think say this place na charity home? Water never hungry you o, you just start. (Do you think that this place is a charity home? You are not thirsty yet, you have only just begun.)” He told me.
“Na wetin even carry them come here sef? (What even brought them here?)” The lanky one asked his colleague.
“Na their son-in-law arrest them o, say the first daughter steal him one million naira, while the second one almost kill am. (It’s their son-in-law who arrested them. He said that the first daughter stole his money while the second one almost killed him). The other police man explained.

“E good for una!” The lanky one stated. “You see say no be money money be everything? Una go dey pack the girls wey we supposed marry give rich men all because of money! Na people like una dey make life hard for us because una no want make una pikin stay with responsible men like us wey dey hustle. Una don brainwash many girls wey be say, girls no dey look for love again o, na so so money. Dem tell you say as money dey mean say the marriage go sweet? (That serves you right. Have you seen now that money is actually not everything?! It’s people like you that are making life hard for us all because you do not want your daughters to stick to responsible men like us who are hustling. You people have brain-washed so many girls to the extent that they are no longer after love but money. Do you think a wealthy home guarantees a happy marriage?) He complained bitterly and hissed. “Una never see anything! When una sleep for cell today and mosquito finish una, una go get sense small. (You have seen nothing yet! When you sleep in the fell tonight and mosquitoes deal severely with you two, maybe then you’ll have some sense!) He finished and finally turned away from us.

My wife secretly tapped my lap and whispered. “But papa Adanna, na true this man talk o. He does have a point. Can’t you see that we practically sold our daughters out to that animal? We chose to stay blind to Adanna’s ordeal all because of the financial aid we were getting from her husband. After taking her home, he suddenly appeared to claim that Adanna ran away with his one million naira. If you ask me, I smell something fishy o. First, Adanna has disappeared, now it’s Linda.”

“What are you insinuating, Eliza?” I asked.
“How are we sure that he is not a ritualist and has also used our daughters for money ritual?”

I laughed wickedly, tapping my foot on the cracked, cemented floor of the police station that was in serious need of renovation. There was a moulded insect next on the wall and a faint trail of termite’s m—d that had earlier been scraped off. The ceiling was bad in several places and had brown patches where rain had continuously leaked in and soaked. “It had better not be o!” I chuckled wickedly. “It had better not be. Nothing must happen to my daughters o! Nothing!” I stated firmly. I paused in surprised when I turned to see my wife sobbing quietly and biting her little finger in regret. “Eliza, what is it na? Is it the mosquitoes that have not even arrived that is making you cry?”
“Ha!” She exhaled. “Papa Adanna, so this is where we have ended? Because of money! Papa Adanna, our two daughters have suddenly disappeared and we don’t even know where they are or what happened to them. If I had known that this was how things were going to be, I wouldn’t have allowed my daughter marry Daniel at all. That boy is a pretender and he has no iota of respect for us. Imagine him not only calling my daughters names but also telling me to shut up! Mua!” She placed her hands on her chest.