So Not Love

Episode 3

On Sunday, we went to church as usual. Since my husband was a very wealthy man, we were always given a special seats at the front, along with some influential couples. He was the most sweetest creature in the church and almost everyone looked up to him. I would hear some girls tell him that our marriage was just the exact same thing they wanted because I was always radiating in my expensive clothes and accessories but no one knew that he was a p–n addict, a sadist and a woman-beater. No one knew what I was going through except the pastors. I had run to them several times to complain about my plight but all they told me was to go back home and keep praying for my husband because God was against divorce. They never called him to order because they were scared to lose such a huge contributor to the finances of the church.

In public, I’ll smile as wide as possible to mask my sorrow. I would apply enough makeup to hide a bruised face or cut lip yet other young girls in my peer group were dying to take my place. All they saw was the expensive cars and the house I lived in but they were never concerned about if I was really happy in my marriage. After service and all the pastors and other ranking members had exchanged pleasantries with him, we walked to the car in the hot sun and was soon soothed by the air conditioner in the car.

After waiting for close to three minutes and I noticed that he made no move to turn the key in the ignition, I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What are we still waiting for?”
He was craning his neck to stare through the windshield and when I followed his gaze, his eyes were fixed on a fair girl who was chatting away with some friends in front of the church. “Do you know her?” He asked me without taking his eyes off the girl.

I took a cursory look at the girl and shook my head, “No, why?”
“She’s very beautiful.” He said and I frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you should get down the car and go and talk to her.” He said to me.
I drew back in shock. “What do you mean by I should go and talk to her? About what?”
He gave me a scornful look now. “Why are you so beautiful, yet daft? don’t you understand what I’m insinuating? Must I spell it out to you before you know what you are supposed to do?”

I remained adamant then stammered, “I… I don’t k..know what you want me to do o. All I know is that I don’t know that girl. I have never even seen her before, so I don’t understand what you want me to go and tell her.”

“Alright…” He gave me an impatient look and leaned back. “Go and ask her where she’s going to, I want to give her a ride.”
“Are you indirectly asking me to go and woo a girl for you and bring her to this car?” I asked in disbelief.

“And so? Is it your father’s car?” He snapped at me.

“How can you send me on such a demeaning errand! Have you forgotten that I’m your wife? You’ve no iota of respect for me!”

He scoffed. “I don’t have time for your drama this afternoon. What good is a wife who’s never fun and is always dry. You have never been wet in your whole life. You are too rigid and it feels like I’m married to a fellow man. Tell me, why the hell should I limit myself to you?!”
“Why speak like you are not already cheating on me with different girls already?” I fired back.

“And yet what can you do? Nothing! You know that you can never leave me because I made you what you are today! You are the first graduate in your family and you owe that to my generosity. If I had not come into your life when I did, you should probably be hawking bread by now or selling Okpa at the bus stop! You are a nobody, Victoria! Read my lips, a nobody! You had better get down this car and go bring that girl here or you won’t like what you’ll get when we get home!”
I was at the verge of tears now. His insults had sunk so deep and stung me hard. “Daniel, at least if you want to cheat on me, accord me my due respect and do that far away. I have suffered enough, why would you choose to rub your infidelity in my nose? Can’t you just go do this far away? At least respect the house of God!”
“May thunder strike you and your family dead! Are you working for me? Are you the head of the family? Since when did you have the right to tell me where to do my business and where not to! In fact, I’ll not sit here another moment with you…” He leaned over and opened my door. “If you will not go and bring that girl here yourself, just don’t bother coming home, now get down!” He ordered.

“Daniel…” I called in a teary voice, my hands on my chest. “Me?”
“Who are you? You are a daughter of a nobody! A daughter of gold diggers that’s what you are! Victoria, get down now!” When I hesitated, he suddenly threatened. “Do you want me to push you down? You want to embarrass yourself here right? I said get down!”

Helplessly, I got down the car, wiped the tears that were threatening to spill down my face then walked towards the girl and her friends. When I stopped by her side, luckily, her friends were just leaving. As she turned to go, I stopped her.

“Excuse me.” I called her attention.
She paused and partially turned to me. “Me?” She asked and I nodded then she pulled closer. “Good afternoon.” She greeted and I could see how her eyes shone as she took in my dressing and hungrily eyed my gold accessories but I pretended not to notice. Her reaction to my dressing had already told me that she was an easy catch.
“Hi, my name is Victoria.” I introduced myself and I had a strong conviction that my husband was keenly watching us.

“I’m Dora.” She replied.
“I believe you were about to go home right?” I asked.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Any problem?”
“My husband and I just want to give you a ride, hope you don’t mind?” I gestured towards the car.

Immediately she saw the car, her eyes brightened then she turned to look at me. “Not at all.” She said. I simply led her to the car and she deliberately moved to my husband’s window. “Good afternoon sir.” Her accent suddenly changed. It was thinner and sexier now.

“Good afternoon my dear, how are you?” I heard my husband ask her.
“I’m fine sir.” She answered with a fake shy smile.

“I hope you enjoyed today’s service?” He asked.

“Of course sir, I was blessed.” She stated.
“Glory to God.” My husband replied then added. “Please go around, come in.” As she walked in front of the car, my husband quickly said to me. “Victoria, sit at the back.” When I gave him a defiant look, he bit his lower lip hard and gritted. “If you mess this opportunity up for me ehn, I’ll make sure I break your hand. Go to the back!”
Reluctantly, I opened the door and got into the backseat. The girl saw this and hesitated in confusion but my husband quickly assured her. “Oh, don’t worry my dear, just come in. My wife doesn’t mind. Trust me, she doesn’t even like sitting in the front.”
“Okay…” She skeptically said then took my place beside him. As we drove home, he began to ask her personal questions about her and they totally forgot I even existed. Somehow, on the course of the journey, he managed to convince her to go home with us. When she hesitated, he assured her yet again that I wouldn’t mind and she had obliged. I was angry and ashamed but there was nothing I could do. When we got home, he asked me to go prepare semovita and Egusi soup for her and that I should make sure that I stocked her plate with enough chicken. I served her at the dinning with a bottle of wine while she ate with my husband and I could hear them laughing like they had known each other for years. When they were done eating, I cleared the table and went to do the dishes. By the time I was done, I walked into the sitting room to meet a shocking sight.

Daniel was already on top of the lady doing the unthinkable on the couch. I was speechless. As I turned to go, my husband stopped me and ordered me to follow them up to our bedroom. He practically carried her up the stairs in his arms and I wondered if the girl had no shred of dignity left in her. She didn’t even have a conscience. I was sure that my husband had bought what was left of it with enough promises to make her fall at his feet.

Against my wish, I followed them up the stairs to our bedroom and watched him place her on the bed. Something he had never done to me before. He asked me to sit in the single armchair and watch how a real woman pleasured a man. I tried to leave but he threatened that if I did, I should just simply pack up my things and leave his house and knowing that I had no where to go to, that my siblings would have to drop out of school and that my parents would never forgive, I stay put, my husband went on with whatever he was doing.

It got to a stage that I almost covered my face with my hands but he called my name sternly and I quickly drew my hands away and watched him.

I was devastated. Never did I imagine that such a thing would get to happen to me in my marriage, that I would get to watch my husband make love to another woman and I could do absolutely nothing about it. It also surprised me that a single girl would agree to sleep with a married man especially before his own wife. What happened to women looking out for their fellow women? Why should women contribute to the sorrows of an unhappy marriage. I was lost in thought as I stared blankly at my husband
When he was done, he directed her to the bathroom where she had her bath after she had defied my matrimonial bed. She had her bath and came out a few minutes later clad in my towel. She soon dressed up and my husband gave her a wad of cash then ordered me to go fetch her a cab. After she left, I went to the back of the house, sat down on the floor and wept bitterly. I almost cursed my parents for forcing me into this marriage. I cried till mucus was dribbling down my nostrils. I was helpless and if this was what marriage was all about, I just wanted to go back to being single.

“God why me?!” I lamented. “Why me? What have I done to deserve this? What?”
I was still lamenting when I heard my husband’s harsh voice, “Victoria!”
Quickly, I got up, wiped my tears as best as I could with my hands and hurried to meet him.