The Village Gardner

Episode 1

Today is nkwo market day in umuagu village.the market is one of the largest for the whole umuagu community.people from the neighbouring village use to come to the market to sell there goods and services every nkwo day..any product you want to buy.you will surely get it from the market.

Tobechukwu.tobem.were are you na.the market people are going oo.that is the voice of my grand mother.

ME.nnem ukwu.am here o.

G.MAMA.what are you doing na.won’t you go to the market again?.

ME.nnem ukwu.anama bia.(i am coming).

I wore my baggi jean.and my long sleeve shirt.i took the two bags full with palm fruit and the other one bag full with palm kernel.and zoomed to the market. Wait.my grand mother called me.

G.MAMA.if you are coming back.buy kpomo 100 naira.ukazi 100.fish and cra fish 200 for each.take you own money. and bring the rest for me.you here.

ME.i done hear mama ukwuu.let me go so that i will come back early.

30 minutes later.i was in the market already.without wasting much time.i sold the palm fruit and kernel to my customer.that usual buy the product from me.i bought the stuffs my old woman asked me to buy.and i collected my own pocket money.i went to uche’s shop my friend and exchange pleasantries with him.we gist for a while before i started going home.on my way home.i saw tochi and her friend Amaka going to stream.(it’s been more than a week now.i have been telling tochi to be my girlfriend.but she was still doing village shakara for me. She only stopped her education at primary six.but what attracted me most on her.was her beauty.no dout. tochi is one of the most beautiful girl in the whole umuagu village.no wonder the prince of our land. wanted to marry her.but due to her poor education background.the prince left her.i asked her to be my girlfriend.she told me that she will thing about it.(village girls done wise o.they are not as cheap as you thing again.dey done learn from city girls.guys take note.

I saw Tochi and Amaka going to the village stream.they were gisting and laughing at the same time(village gossip).immediately i saw them.i pulled my baggi jean down small.for it to look a little bit rugged.(village swagg na.lols).they were deep in there gossip.which made them not to see me coming.they wanted to walk pass me before i called tochi back.

TOCHI.i bu onye.(who is that).

ME.tochi na me dey call you.can i see you please.(she excuse her parrot friend amaka.and came closer to me.

ME.Tochi bekee.my tochi baby.my only akwaa eke.chai!am very very happy to see you today o.(i said to her)how are you na?.

TOCHI.(she started blushing).am fime o.(is fine not fime.i said to myself.

ME.were una dey go na.

TOCHI.you see us hold rubber.you still dey asked us were we dey go.any way.we wan go fetch water for stream.

ME.ok tobaby.erm.(i started looking at her chest.instead of her eyes.chai! Tochi get chest oo.see as them big like water melon.

TOCHI.haah.Tobe.this one you dey rook(look)at me like that.biko don’t lape(rape)me o.

ME.haah.tochi how can i lape(rape) you na.you dey funny o.

TOCHI.so you are cursing me abi.

ME.noo.how am i cursing you.

TOCHI.na lie.if you no dey curse me.why you talk say i dey funny.what is funny?.is it not curse.(chai!see wetin village mentality dey do this girl.she don’t know the meaning of funny.tufia kwa.).

ME.funny no be curse.it means your are fine well well.(when i dey go school.were you dey.).

TOCHI.ehee.you sure.(smiling).

ME.yes na.am sure.(smiling too).

TOCHI.okay.so weting you want tell me.

ME.eheeh.tobaby.my omaricha.my tomatoe jos.my akwaa eke.my tom tom milky milky.

TOCHI.(come see were black they blushe.she started twisting her fingers.)you are making m shym o.(shy)why u dey call me those sweet na.

ME.(i done get u).tobaby m.what of that thing i told you the other day na.the thing dey make me sleepless night o.you no say i like you well well.

TOCHI.i done hear you.make i go fetch water finish.we go see in dis evening.and i go tell you my mind.

ME.okay.were are we going to see na.

TOCHI.we go see for that ukwu mango.(ukwu mango.is one of the biggest and oldest mango in our community.it’s located near the market side.it’s very cool and calm place to be.expecially for lovers.coz there won’t be any disturb.).

ME.okay.i don hear you.but by what time.

TOCHI.by 6pm na.

ME.no problem.i will be there before 6pm.and please no africa time.

TOCHI.heear.i bia kwa.which one be aflica time.(africa time)again biko.

ME.i mean.bring something come for me.

TOCHI.okay.i will bring epee for you.(orange)bye bye.

ME.okay.bye.see you then. She left with her friend who has been waiting patiently for her.

They took there rubber and started going to stream.i started looking at tochi’s ukwu(waist).the thing was moving left right.left right.chai!chi moo.i lost control.see ukwu wey dis girl carry only her.na only me go dey enjoy this ukwu alone.if she finally becomes mine.(i smiled to myself)with this.i will surely forget my grand mother’s name.