Episode 44
We began to live from hand to mouth for the rest of the year.
My father and her illegal wife had sold most of the propertyâ
Television, Radio, Refridgerator, yet they couldnât meet up. Now
they began to appear religious, trying to attend vigils and other
church services. However, Toyosi didnât cease from going to
herbalists to get solution, but they had none.
December was drawing close, but we had nothing at home.
Toyosi threatened to walk out of the relationship to wait for her
husbandâs return but John persuaded her to stay to take care of
Bode with him for the moment.
Toyosi would weep all alone sometimes. I wondered what
actually was wrong with her. Did anything go wrong again? I
would ponder. I thought all was getting better, but I never
knew something had gone wrong between the illegal couple
which I didnât know.
I intensified my asking for my mother, but I didnât get any
direct answer. Toyosi asked me to see my father concerning
my motherâs issue. When I did, John didnât reply me. I
wondered how someone could be so stubborn. After all these
ânine plagues of the Egyptiansâ which had come upon him and
his family (except me), this man still refused to let my mother
go. Certainly my father is another Pharaoh in the making, I
thought.
It was soon going to be New Year day, yet there seemed to be
nothing at home to use to do the New Year day. Bode was
complaining vehemently. The evil hand of malnutrition seemed
to have had much grip of him than any other person in the
family. Bodeâs once bulgy cheeks had shrunken so much. His
neck had gone thin for lack of balanced diet and one might
easily pass him for a kwashiorkor patience. The sicknesses
which swept across the family, sparing me those times, really
did much to their financial status.
Toyosi expected a response from her husband in form of
money, but she got nothing.
The New Year gradually dragged in. It was all hunger-strike for
us. If not for Mrs Omotayo who gave us some cooked food,
we wouldnât have had anything to eat throughout the New Year
day. Toyosi humbly took the meal from her that day and shed
tears. Bode shed tears too, asking his daddy why he didnât
perform his responsibility as a father to take care of the need of
the family in the New Year. It was then John joined in the cry. I
wanted to cry too, but all I had was laughter. My father was
angry with me. He thought I was laughing at their calamity, so
he ordered me out of the room.
I clutched to my pen and then began to write something:
NEW YEAR HUNGER
Glancing at life sometimes
You are left to wonder
Is it worth living?
Yes to some it is,
Cos they have what it takes
To make life worth living
But to some itâs not,
A capital NO,
Cos to them it is but
A moment spent in woes
While some celebrate
A New Year indeed,
Others Celebrate
A New Year of HungerâŠ
I flipped back. I had written over fifty poems so far. I
remembered how I begun those days; how Toyosi tore my
first sets of poems. But I wrote them again and she didnât get to
know. If only I knew where that Judimax was, I would take my
manuscript to them and get published. It would be a dream
come true. I would make the whole world ask Toyosi and my
father where exactly they kept my mother; six feet under the
earth or where else?
I remembered my mother again. My patience was no more in
place. It was already more than a year since she was jailed for
no reason at all. Something made me think of committing
patricide. I was going to t—-t a knife through my fatherâs belly
at the dead of the night and end it all at once. I wouldnât be
without my mother all day. It would be better to kill my father
and then get killed in return than to allow this sinner go scot-
free.
I went to bed, waiting for my father to sleep as well. I was
going to rise up and walk straight to his room to do the job, I
thought.
I got up from bed and reached for a knife close by, a kitchen
knife. I began to walk stealthily to his room. Toyosi left the door
ajar. I didnât care where she was. I opened the door gently and
found my father dozing on the bed. I walked straight to him
and lowered the knife into his body with all my strength. I
watched him grope for death. Now I needed to escape into the
night, never to be seen again, but then Toyosi appeared at the
door and screamed! I knew she screamed. going by the raised
muscles on her neck.
I woke up from my nightmare. So it was a dream, I sighed.
How on earth would I have killed my own father?
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