We Are Able

Episode 7

My class teacher rushes in. It is 9am already. She was very shocked when she saw Bode lying on the floor.

“What happened, Rose?” she asks me.
“I–I have k–killed him,” I tell her.
“How? What did you do to him?”
“I held his neck tight,” I say.
I explain the whole thing to my teacher. She carried him
to the hospital immediately. I followed her there,
shaking like a leaf.

This Bode must be an ‘ogbanje’, I think. How can he die
because of that little squeezing of his neck? Have I not
done something similar to Bose a female counterpart
for that matter and she didn’t die?

I sit at the waiting room expecting to hear the doctor’s verdict. If Bode is dead, then I’d rather die too, else my
daddy will kill me by himself. I have seen it in films how people kill themselves. They call it suicide.

Maybe that is what I will also do, I ponder. God will understand.

My teacher tells me that Bode has regained
consciousness. He has been diagnosed for asthma.

“Asthma?” I say. I become scared. “Did I cause it?”

“No you didn’t Rose,” she says. “You only triggered it when you choked him; it is good this happened, else
the boy would keep living with it without knowing.”

I look at my teacher’s face on and on. How did she know that something was happening in my home for her to have rushed down there at the nick of time?

Maybe it’s because I didn’t ring the bell in school when I
should. I ask her, “Ma, why did you rush down to my
home like that?”

She smile and says, “God told me to do so. Actually, I couldn’t rest in my spirit when I didn’t see you in school
on time, so I decided to check on you.”
“I thought as much,” I reply.
Daddy comes around after work. My teacher must have explained what happened to him.

The look on his face is
as if he should tear me apart for almost killing his son. I
fear what Toyosi will do if she learns about it.
My mother also calls at the hospital. This time, she
speaks harshly to me.

“Rose, do you want to kill somebody?”
“I am sorry mother,” I plead.
“Shut up!” she signalled harshly to me. I weep. This
time around she didn’t console me and I understand
why; I am a threat to her matrimonial home, I think.

When mummy and I returned home after Bode was
discharged, we met our loads outside the house. Daddy
is kicking us out again.

We have to put up in my aunty’s place for weeks.

Toyosi even came to the place to insult us. She hit my
mother on the face with the pointed part of her stiletto.

“You want to kill my child for me? I swear, what I will
do for you, you shall both regret it. I will blow whistle
with your nostrils, you wicked nuisance. Ah! In my life
shall I live to enjoy the fruit of my womb but I swear
that deaf mute idol you are calling your daughter will
die soon, as glory be to God! Call me bastard if it doesn’t happen!”

My aunty was angry. She rushes to confront her, but my
weeping mother didn’t allow her do that. The sight is
unbearable to me. I run down the staircase and roll over accidentally.

The woman stands over me and claps her hands over
my head:
“Good! This is just the beginning for you. Call me
bastard if I, Toyosi the daughter of Balogun, don’t ruin
your family!”

I didn’t have much injury when I fell. I get up and my aunt comes around me to pick me up. She so much loves me such that she has mastered the sign language
too. She is even the one who tells me everything Bode’s mother was yelling about.
“Rose, just be who you are. Don’t fear, she can’t do anything to hurt you,” my aunty assures me afterwards.

Mummy says it is time to divorce my daddy as I have
advised her earlier. It seems okay by me, at least it will
help me to steer clear of trouble every now and then.