All That I Need

Episode 34

Lily’s POV

I woke up in Klarissa’s warm bed, but her body wasn’t beside mine. I looked around, confused, wondering where she had gone.

Everything suddenly came back to me from last night with Klarissa, and I started to think about doing it to myself, because how it had made me feel was crazy.

But I changed my mind quickly when the horrible memories of yesterday came flooding back, blocking every sexual urge I currently had.

My mum was dead. I had watched her die. She was probably still at home, in our disgusting house. She would probably never be moved from there. Her body would rot. I had to go back there for my foster parents to pick me up, but I couldn’t go back there, in that haunting place with her dead body.

I walked out of Klarissa’s room, into the kitchen. That’s where I found her and her mum.

“I’ve paid for a coffin and headstone. The body’s being picked up in ten minutes,” Klarissa’s Mum said, sipping on coffee. Klarissa buttered toast, listening to her.

“That’s great, Lily will be glad,”

She looked up, noticing me.

“Lily!” She sang, running over and embracing me. I softened, feeling at ease in her arms.

She pulled back, and her mum smiled at us.

“Lily! You’re mum’s just about to get picked up. I’ve payed for a coffin and headstone,”

I nodded.

“You didn’t have to. She’s dead anyway. She won’t mind,” I said, shrugging.

“Oh sweetheart. It’s still the precious body of a woman who held the soul of your mum. I would hate for her to get thrown into the ground with the people who don’t have families. And this way, you can visit her.”

I nodded.

“Thank you guys,”

“It’s our pleasure,” Klarissa’s mum said, smiling.

Klarissa grabbed my hand, and I felt the electricity of her touch shoot through my body.

“Have some toast,” she said, leading me over to the table and giving me a plate of toast.

“Isn’t this yours?” I asked.

“I made it for you,” She said, smiling.

“Thanks Klar,” I said.

“Do you need a lift back to your house?” Her mum asked, looking at me. “I heard that your new foster parents are picking you up today,”

I nodded, “In about an hour,”

———

We pulled up outside my house, and everything came rushing back. The life mum and I had created there and the days I had spent looking after her when she was sick, watching her slowly die.

I felt sick. The last time I was here I had watched mum take her last breath. My life here was my past now. I was moving on.

I took a deep breath, and hopped out of the car.

“I’ll wait with you,” Klarissa said, climbing out with me.

“I have to go inside and grab something,” I said.

Klarissa nodded, following me in.

It looked exactly how it had the last time I had seen it. I looked around, memorising everything I could about the place. Mum’s few possessions were still placed beside our mattress, and I walked closer to it.

“This is where I watched her die,” I said, touching the hard mattress.

“Oh Lily,” Klarissa said, taking my hand.

“If I look close enough, I can almost see her laying here… still breathing, still living,” I said, feeling the tears slowly spill out of my eyes.

“She’ll be watching over you,” Klarissa said, smiling.

I nodded; “I will never forget this place. This was my very first home.”

Klarissa wrapped her arm around me as I began to slowly cry.

I reached out, noticing mum’s jacket. I pulled it closer, holding it. It smelt like her.

“I’ll keep this with me forever,” I said, smiling.

“A solid memory of her,”

Klarissa smiled back, and we stood up.

“Is that all you needed to get?” She asked.

“Also my clothes,” I said, quickly grabbing them.

We walked out the front, hand-in-hand.

We watched as a small, white car pulled up in front of the driveway. It must be them.

“I’ll leave you to your foster parents now. But please know that you’re welcome at my place anytime. And that I love you. So fucking much.” Klarissa said, smiling.

I smiled, and she grabbed my arms, pulling me closer.

Her lips ran softly against mine, and I sighed. I wrapped my arms around her back, and kissed her heavily. Her hands made their way up to my face as she pressed her tongue into my mouth. After a short moment, she pulled back.

“See you later,” she said, grinning, before she waved and head off. I smiled, shifting my attention to the car in front of me.

I became suddenly aware that they had been watching me. Probably judging me. What a bad first impression. I hoped they weren’t homophobic.

But then I suddenly remembered that they were gay, and relaxed. This wouldn’t matter to them. That felt great.

I watched a tall man with blonde-grey hair hop out of the car.

“Hey Lily!” He said warmly. His smile was soft. He had such a kind look on his face. He seemed nice enough.

“Hey.” I said, smiling.

“I’m Dan. One of your new foster parents. You can just call me Dan if you’d like. One day you might be comfortable enough to call us dads, but we don’t mind if you call us by our names. This is Jarred,”

He said, pointing to a shorter man beside him with dark brown hair who had just got out of the car.

“Hey Klarissa,” Jarred said, smiling.

“Hey,” I said quietly. They both seemed like lovely people, and all my worries about my foster parents suddenly left me.

“Are you ready?” Dan asked, patting me on my shoulder as I turned back around to look at my very first house.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I realised that it was time to move on. From mum and from my past.

“I think so. I miss mum,” I said.

Dan patted my shoulder, his arm around my back.

“Your mum loved you, and only wanted the best for you. You will always have her memory. I’m sorry that this had to happen to you,”

I frowned, the tears falling quicker down my cheeks.

Dan wrapped his arms around me, and I hugged him back. He was still a stranger to me, but he already meant a lot. He was fostering me, with Jarred, so that I could live the rest of my childhood with them. I could finally have a proper life. A proper house. I was already glad that I’d get to be living my life with them.

“I want a hug too,” Jarred said, and I felt his arms around me too as he hugged us.

“We don’t want you to ever forget your mum. And we know you won’t. We just want to love you and bring you up the way that your mum has always wanted,”

I nodded.

“I think it’s time for you to see your new home,” Dan said, as they let me go.

I hopped into the back of their car, and we began to drive away from my old life, and towards my new one. The kind of normal life I’ve always wanted.