Crushed

Episode 4

I had become the shadow of myself
I didn’t care about the way I looked anymore
I didn’t care who looks at me or who doesn’t
I still followed them to church but my ears are
always plugged with ear piece that if any
usher comes around to stop me, I would show
such the stuff I am made of.

I remembered one occasion when I was seated
amongst the congregation in the adult church.
An usher came to my side and pulled me with
such force that I had to bite her hand.
What sort of a woman does that!
“I am a lady myself and not a small girl. That
I am an elder’s daughter doesn’t mean you
can drag me however you like” I screamed into
her ears.

She was a very short woman so it was easy to
speak straight into her ears.

She was shaken by what I said to her that she
staggered before pulling my ears
“Your dad must hear about this” she said as
she pulled me out of the auditorium since I
was already becoming a distraction to the
church
We met mummy on the way and she just
scoffed
“Have you seen for yourself now? The girl
needs prayers” she said as she moved past us
She dragged me on and on and I struggled to
get myself freed

“It’s a lie o Mercy. You were never like this
and it is a lie…the devil has failed over your
life” she said on and on
I saw that she was approaching the elder’s
office and that was where daddy was.
I quickly bit her finger and she staggered back
as she wriggled in pains.
I picked up my shoes and started running
towards the church gate.
Even I knew that I was becoming a nuisance
already but I didn’t care
Not at all!

Alice saw me and came running towards me
but I was determine to jab her if she ever tried
to stop me.

Wouldn’t she just leave me alone?
After the incidence two weeks back, she had
called my line severally but I had refused to
pick up.

I had avoided her like plague
She was a Jesus’ girl after all!
“Catch her for me please” That was daddy’s
voice
Oh my God!

I am in serious soup!

The security man and Alice got to me at the
same time and held me
Alice looked into my face softly
“Oh my God! What is going on with you
Mercy? You have never been violent. Why
would you start within just three weeks? Why?
What happened?” she asked on
Daddy patted the usher on the shoulders
before he started to pull me into his office
Alice looked at me as I was dragged.
She looked so caring.

I reached out towards her as I started
screaming
“Alice, save me! I don’t want to go into his
office. I don’t want to go please. Save me” I
cried bitterly but she shook her head
“He’s your dad. He knows the best” she said,
tears in her eyes already
The earth stood still

I shook my head in total surrender and regret.
Could nobody look past the daddy, elder,
pastor thing?

Couldn’t anybody feel my pain?
“God bless you my sister” he said as he locked
the door and pushed me inside the inner
office
He looked at me for a moment and I looked at
him too fearlessly

“You have finally become a nuisance” he said
and I looked at me, shaking my head
“And you? You have not only become a
nuisance. You are a nonsense!” I said
Since the incidence, I had lost every pint of
respect I had for the once noble personality of
my father.

I had lost it all!
He laughed loudly as he slapped me playfully
on my face
“Stop touching me! Would you stop that
please!” I cried again
“I love you Mercy. Don’t see it as a
punishment or molestation. See me as your
husband. I took your virginity. You are mine. I
love you” he said and started coming near me
again.

Immediately I saw him approaching, I quickly
stood form the chair and dodged
I developed a strong allergy from the three
words ‘I love you’.

Those were part of the words he spoke to me
while he ravaged me.
I would never appreciate someone telling me
that anymore.

He followed after me and I stood for a
moment

“What would you gain from all these things
Mr. Brown? Aren’t you supposed to be in the
church? Is the sermon today not to be
handled by you?” I asked on
He nodded like an agama lizard
Dark passion written all over his face
“Yes I will go. Only after you have satisfied
me. Only after you have said you love me too
and you show it” he said like an evil beast and
I loathed him immediately
What could save me from another painful
experience today?

“Remember I have good plans for you.
Remember I pay your expensive fees.
Remember, you dress well. Remember
everything”
What?

If I scream now, who would save?
Wouldn’t I expose this man after all?
He caught me and pulled me down.
His strength overpowered me and I could not
move again.

Within two minutes, it was over and he stood
up, went on his knees beside his table to pray
while I looked and picked up his bible.
“Stand up and lets go” he said and I looked at him from where I was with great abhor
I shook my head as tears ran down my face
He came near me and pulled me with a hand
which I bit as if I was going to chop off a
chunk of his flesh.

He screamed
“I rebuke you in Jesus’ name” he screamed as
he downloaded two dirty slaps in my face
I saw different stars before I tumbled and fell
into a settee.
He pulled me by the arm again as he opened
the door.

He closed the door and locked it.
He left me on the porch of his office as he left
for the main auditorium
I was battered!

I didn’t know what could happen next
‘Is this how this would continue?’ I cried on
There was nobody available.

I tried to sit up but I couldn’t bear the sight of myself

I couldn’t even forgive myself either.
I said I was going to really be a devil
What had happened to my resolve?
“Should I just go and take the mic and confess
to the whole church? Should I tell the whole
world how devilish this man I call father is?” I
shouted into the air.

“No please. Don’t” a voice said from behind
me.

I turned back to look at the person talking
Alice!