I Fucked Her

Episode 12

“You claim to love me yet I am not seeing anything. Just one request and you have not called me for long.”

Kai, like she made any request the first time. Na so I just dey wonder how I wan carry tell her say I send her money through VTU. I never think finish when I hear…

“kpoon kpoon kpoon”
She don drop call. One kind rage just fill my head. I carry phone begin type text. I wan break up immediately. I don finish type am wan send am when I remember say I don invest N800 for her head. Kai, the toto shall not pass me by. I delete the text come type something wey dey more sober.

“You never gave me a chance to explain. I do love you and will do anything to make you happy. Maybe MTN decided to withhold the money I sent through VTU to test our love. Well, I am going to the ATM machine right away. Remember, it pays to be appreciative.”

I insert the last line for effect purpose. I no reach 3 minutes wey I send the text na im her call enter. Forget o, I no move one inch comot from my chair. My father name na Babalola, not Dangote.

“Hello baby. I am sorry for shouting at you.”
I no say anything.

“I saw the money. I thought it was MTN that dashed me money.”

Kai, I swear this babe na b’i’t’ch.
“Have you sent the one you said you are going to send?”

Click!! I cut phone. This babe really dey out to chop my money o. Na later I come dey see apology text message. She even promise say she go change. Make we see sha.
I did not keep my phone on my table when it started ringing. It was Hannah calling. Since I was less busy, I picked the call.
“Foxy, why are you doing this to me?”
Was the first question she dropped on my head. Some babes can so think they own you because they gave you toto to Bleep. I hate that thing eh. I Bleep you no mean say I like you. Na mutual agreement between the fu-Cker and the fu-Ckee (Mazi’s Dictionary).
“I am not doing anything to you. You said you love me, I am happy about it.”
I answered her.

“Is that what you will say?”
See Jamb question.

“What else do you want me to say? I am even hungry right now. I am yet to take my lunch”

I answered hoping she would cut the call. But the reverse seemed to be the case.
“Sorry baby. What do you want to eat when you come home?”

She asked sweetly. My ears pricked out. Now that is what I am talking about. A girl playing the role of a man because you have fu-Ckeddd her well.

“Uhm, I think I will want something to swallow.”

I answered. There was silence at the other end before her voice finally came up.
“I will have to go to the market o and you know this is dry season. Ugwu is not readily available.”

Well, who cares? Not me.
“That’s what I want to eat o.”
I answered her sullenly.
“Owk, when are you coming?”
She asked.

“Coming where?”
I asked back.
“To my place na.”
Oh… This babe wan use me do ritual ni? How long I know you when I go begin come your place.

“You know there is hold-up all the time. I will reach your place when I reach it. Where will I even stop?”

I asked for description. Now, I am releasing information o, the babe don move out from there sha.

“When you drop at Maraba under bridge, cross the road and enter into the park (before it was demolished), take a bike and tell them you are going to Aso, Assemblies of God church. I will come and pick you there.”
The she emphasized.

“Please don’t disappoint me.”
Am I mad? Disappoint fire? Kai, free food, free toto. Men, Aso, here I come!!!