Irresistible

Episode 11

Sam: oga coma.

Me: Sambisa, the f—-r in the forest.
Sam: hmm.. hmm. . Your new hot chick is starting work tomorrow, so when are you starting?

Me: who be my new hot chick? I never see housegirl, if I never employ one, I nogo near office.

Sam: your new sextary, if you like dey f–k this one upadan, I trust Chibaby na 6ft sentence she go give you.

Me: Sambisa, commot for my line hissed
Save me Oh Lord from the daughters of Eve
and I’ll become ardent christain, I no even
ask Sambisa make em arrange two hot
holy holy sisters from em church.

Me: hello, Sambisa
Sam: aahhh.. oga coma, why you dey call again, or you lost small memo due to coma?

Me: I no get time for your wahala, Sam. Which church you dey go?

Sambisa: L.W.F.S. ministry.

Me: thank God.
Sam: for?

Me: you manage dey go church.
Sam: hmm…never thank am first oohh….

Me: na you sabi, you fit arrange two holy holy sisters from ona church to run my house package, I wan repent.

Sam: I fit arrange two sister M for you.
Me: I no want people where dey bear Mary as name.

Sam: who tell you say sister M na Mary.
Me: so na Mirabel?
Sam: no.

Me: Miracle?
Sam: no
Me: oboy, na who na?
Sam: two sister Monkey.. line death
Your father
Sam, the only option left is to call pastor
Jeremiah, hope he isn’t prophet of doom.
we have beautiful sisters and semi ugly
holy holy sisters, I dialed his number.
Me: good evening, pastor.

Pastor: aahhh… brother Victor, you didn’t attend this past service, why?

Me: am just coming back from the hospital, have been sick.

Pastor: brother say you will never fall into the hands of sickness.

Me: I will never.

Pastor: good, am coming to your house tomorrow.

Me: eehhnn… sir, I need a good sister that will help to keep my house clean, and I will pay for her services.

Pastor: no problem, am coming with one tomorrow.

Me: thank you, sir.
Pastor: you are welcome called off
I trust
pastor Jeremiah, hope am not going to
be seeing monkey as my house girl in my
dreams to night, what is the full meaning
of L.W.F.S ministry? Hmm.. Sam. Sam.