Loving Ashe

Episode 30

In the end, Riley decided to see Clint alone, for as much as she wanted Ashe with her, she didn’t mean to drag him deeper into her family drama than she already had. And it was just as well, for as soon as Ashe hailed a cab, his agent called. Something urgent had come up.

Twenty minutes later Clint opened the door to the brownstone, grinning broadly. He was wearing a gray knit cardigan over a button-down shirt and slacks, his usual house attire. Dark-rimmed glasses framed his blue eyes, and two-day-old stubble graced his jaw.

“I’m so happy you could make it, Riley,” he said, beckoning her into the living room. He offered her a drink and a seat on the couch in front of his favorite armchair. Though he seemed his usual easy-going self, Riley remembered that this version of Clint was the total opposite of the Clint most people knew, especially with the ones he did business. She learned this after Allen had approached Clint for a loan when the cafe wasn’t doing too well and he had to pay for cancer treatments for his now-deceased wife.

Clint had been able to convince Allen that, despite Riley’s brief lapse of judgment that had led to her overdose, she was still trustworthy—so dependable that Clint was willing to put his money behind her. He had done so, which was why Riley now owned fifty percent of the Library Cafe. This partnership allowed her to make changes in the decor, the choice of coffee blends and the hiring and firing of employees. It had also been Clint who’d taught Riley the basics of accounting, how to balance the books both by hand and using business accounting software.

Clint Caldwell III was the only son of a Manhattan socialite whose fortune had almost been squandered by her husband, Clint’s father. It wasn’t till the man died from liver disease when Clint was twenty-four that he managed slowly to bring the family fortunes back up to where they had been, and beyond. He did it by taking enormous risks in the stock market, and buying real estate when the prices were down, only to sell when they went up. He was ruthless in business affairs when he needed to be though she had always known him to put family first.

Riley found herself wondering what Clint would do if he learned of Paige’s affair. Would he kick Paige out and leave her without a penny to her name? The thought made her stomach lurch, and she forced herself to think of other things. She was angry with Paige, but not that upset. No, Clint wouldn’t do that. He adored his wife.

He’d been married twice before. His first wife had died of breast cancer three years into their marriage and the second lasted five years before society papers announced their split. She was now living in Texas and married to a congressman with whom she had two children.

Clint had met Paige three years after his divorce from his second wife. He saw her at a runway show his company was sponsoring and asked to meet her backstage. He wined and dined her for months. When Paige insisted that they take Riley with them on some of their ‘dates’ Clint was undeterred, unlike most other men who would have just scoffed at her suggestion. Riley would never forget the helicopter rides over New York, the ringing of the opening bell on Wall Street and the day she got to wear a big hat and fancy dress to the Kentucky Derby. There was even a last minute trip to St. Bart’s once, where he owned a vacation home and a surprise trip to Paris.

Clint asked Paige to marry him a year and a half later, and it was a huge wedding, the biggest wedding Riley had ever been. Held in the Hamptons, the celebration lasted four days.

As Riley leaned forward on the couch, too nervous to relax, Clint poured himself a shot of bourbon. He handed her a glass of white wine before settling into the armchair in front of her.

Small talk came first. How are things? (Fine.) How is Ashe? (Great.) How are you both doing? (Going strong.) He seems like a good man. (He is.) Decent. (Yup.)

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

“I thought we were supposed to be talking about the boys,” Riley said finally.

“And so we shall,” Clint said. “You’ve been in their lives since the day they were born. It can be difficult for children to understand why someone suddenly disappears from their lives when they just live across town.”

“I miss them, too.”

Clint nodded. “Well, if you intend to see them, that would be wonderful. We can arrange times when they can either see you at the park, or at your place, or even here when Paige is out. But if not, then it’s best to let them know now. They miss you terribly.”

“Thomas thinks he did something wrong. That’s what he said in his phone message,” Riley said, taking a sip of wine before setting the glass down on the coffee table in front of her. Clint had always had a way of disarming her with his gentle smile, and she could feel herself relax.

“I assured Thomas that he hadn’t done anything wrong,” Clint said. “I told him that sometimes sisters don’t get along, just like sometimes he and his brothers don’t get along.”

Riley frowned. “Is that what Paige told you? That this is just about two sisters who are not getting along? Something petty, like fighting over a favorite toy?”

“It doesn’t matter what Paige told me. We’re here because of the boys. What goes on between you and Paige is between you and Paige. What goes on between Paige and me is between us,” he said, taking a sip from his glass. “I don’t understand why you women have to hold onto grudges for as long as you do. No wonder nothing ever gets done if a woman is in charge.” 59

Riley felt her anger rise. How dare he insinuate that nothing got done if a woman was in charge! How the hell did the Library Cafe get managed in the first place if it weren’t for her? With Allen regularly upstate to spend more time with his grandchildren, she did most of the heavy lifting as far as running the place. As she pulled herself back to the present, she wondered if Clint knew what Paige had done.

“Do you honestly think that all this is just me holding on to grudges?” Riley asked. “Do you mean to tell me that all these years, you never knew what she did?”

“Whatever she’s done is something we need to handle on our own. Like I said, whatever grudge you hold against your sister, you take care of it with your sister,” he said, and Riley wondered how he could remain so calm. It was as if he were in the middle of a boardroom meeting. So diplomatic, Riley thought, so businesslike. Clint’s face betrayed no emotion, nothing to tell Riley that he knew what had happened either five years ago, or a few weeks ago.

“She hurt me,” Riley said. “Does that even matter to you?”

“It does, sure,” Clint said. “Your happiness and safety have always been important to us, but this…this estrangement is hurting her. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about how you feel without taking your side. And I can’t do that, not as Paige’s husband.”

“She didn’t just hurt me,” Riley said. “She hurt you too. Doesn’t that matter to you?”

Clint set his glass on the side table and leaned toward her, resting his elbows on his lap, his hands clasped together. “One of the things people learn in marriage is that, while things might look black and white to others, there lie a lot of grays, too. And it’s in those gray areas that relationships are either strengthened or broken. Some people do something wrong and for them, there’s no going back. From that moment on, the bond they once had, no matter how good, is gone. Others manage to see beyond the grays and learn to forgive, even if it means a compromise has to be made. The way I see it now, it’s just a grudge for you, Riley. Maybe even jealousy. You’ve always been envious of your sister.”

“How can I be the one who’s jealous? I wasn’t the one who slept with—”

“Riley! That’s as much as I’m going to allow you to say under my roof,” Clint snapped, raising his hand up and stopping her from continuing. “Whatever happened, and whoever with, I’ve forgiven Paige for it. It was unfortunate that it had to happen with someone we both know, but it’s done, and there’s nothing we can do about it now.” 9

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

Riley stared at him incredulously. She’d heard Gareth say the same thing, she thought.

Whatever you think you saw, it’s done, and neither you nor anyone else can undo it.

“You knew? All this time, you knew what she did? Doesn’t it even matter to you that it happened again?”

“Riley!” Clint’s warning tone chilled her, and this time, Riley shut up. She breathed deeply, wishing Ashe were standing next to her. If he had been, though, what did she expect him to do? Fight her fights for her, the way Gareth always had until one day he stopped and left her? Maybe Gareth had grown sick and tired of being her knight in shining armor. Maybe that’s what he had meant when he told her that she wouldn’t be able to handle L.A. He couldn’t fight for her anymore, not when he had to fight his way to the top of his game.

Riley clenched her fists, forcing herself to push all thoughts of Gareth from her mind. Sooner or later, she had to learn how to fight her battles. But realizing that Clint had already known what had happened between Paige and Gareth left her confused. Who else knew then?

Clint got up from his armchair. Slipping his hands into his trouser pockets, he paced the floor in front of her.

“I promised myself that we wouldn’t discuss what Paige did because whatever happened five years ago—” 1

“She slept with Gareth! Doesn’t that even bother you?” 8

“—we’ve worked it out as a couple,” Clint said slowly, choosing his words carefully, undeterred by her interruption.

“All this time, you knew what had happened between Paige and Gareth and yet none of you bothered to tell me,” Riley said, standing up from the couch.

“What do you expect me to do, Riley? Commiserate with you?” asked Clint, annoyance on his face. “Paige told me what happened right after it happened, and she lives with the guilt of it every single day. The fact that neither Gareth nor Paige told you is a matter beyond my control. But it’s been five years. Granted, you just learned about it a few weeks ago, but why do you insist on living in the past? Why do you want to rehash that moment again and again? Can you just push aside your jealousy over your sister for one minute-” 23

“Push aside my jealousy? This has nothing to do with jealousy, Clint, and do you know why? Because it happened again!” Riley exclaimed. “They were together again! Doesn’t that matter to you? Don’t you care that your wife was fucking another man in your house?”

Clint’s eyes narrowed, and Riley took a step back. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Clint’s face harden. She’d stepped over the line. She’d told Clint something it wasn’t her place to do, just as Ashe had warned her not to.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” she stammered. She felt like a petulant child—which was exactly how she was acting—and she was ashamed of herself.

“What do you want me to do, Riley?” Clint asked coldly. “Do you want me to divorce her?”

“No,” she whispered. 3

“Would it make you happy if I kicked her out on the street with no penny to her name but whatever pittance she makes from her blogging empire?” 2

“No!”

“Would you like to be the one to announce to the world that you saw my wife fucking Gareth Roman? Will that make you happy? Because I know the local papers would just love to see that juicy tidbit in their gossip columns. Blogging Queen of Manhattan Caught In the Act with Hollywood Bad Boy!” Clint’s arm shot up in the air as if he were putting up the words on a billboard. “Would that make you happy, Riley?”

“No,” she croaked, tears streaming down her face. She was angry with Paige, but she wasn’t that angry, and at that moment, Riley was scared more than anything. 1

Clint took a step toward her, and Riley moved back till the back of her calves hit the couch. Though the coffee table stood between them, it might as well not have been there, since Clint seemed to tower over her, glaring.

He sighed, his face softening. “You have to start growing up, Riley. You need to understand that sometimes a compromise isn’t failure. It’s just an opportunity for two parties to meet halfway, and it’s also a part of growing up.” 55

“Settling for second-best, you mean?”

Clint’s jaw tensed and his lips set in a straight line. “I never settle for second-best, Riley, and neither should you.”

“I don’t intend to,” Riley said, finally gathering herself together. Why did she feel that she was losing the fight against Clint? She didn’t know how she’d got into a fight to begin with. She’d come here to discuss the triplets. Why did she have to get so carried away by her emotions?

“I love my wife dearly, and I’d like to believe that she loves me. She’s not perfect, and neither am I. But together, we have three beautiful boys whom we both love more than anything in this world,” he said and this time, Riley felt his anger finally peak beneath his calm demeanor. 9

“Three gorgeous, healthy boys for whom I will do anything to make happy, even if it means I have to listen to the spoiled rantings of a woman who hasn’t moved away from under the shadow of her sister. A sister who believes she’s nothing all because her father thinks she is nothing,” he paused as Riley brought her hand to her mouth, stifling the sob from her lips. “I know those things, Riley, just as I am aware now that there’s nothing Paige or I can do to make you grow up any faster without having to let you go.”

“Let me go? What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Just as I said. I need to let you go if it means it’s the only way you’re going to grow up,” Clint said, and Riley saw the sadness in his eyes. “But this time, it’s on your own accord. I made the mistake the first time three years ago when I had someone take care of things for me, but I won’t make the same mistake again. You told Paige you didn’t want to have a sister or even nephews, and I can see now that even though I’ve asked you here so we can discuss only the boys, yet you insist on talking about everything else but the boys. And maybe Paige was right. Perhaps in doing it your way, and leaving you alone, you are growing up. And this time, I won’t stand in your way.”

“Wait,” Riley said, raising her hand. “What did you mean by three years ago? What happened three years ago?” 1

Clint’s eyes were cold as he gazed at her. “You know what happened three years ago, Riley. Unfortunately, instead of moving to Hollywood with Gareth like you were supposed to, you squandered all that money I gave you for drugs and almost killed yourself over a boy.”