Me, The Girls And My Guys Dem

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 34

” na captain o” he said.

” wetin he do?” i asked anxiously. Rock lowered himself Down on the sands.

“captain race come house, e say una bin dey go market, na so one man dey jog with lion for road. As the lion see you roar, the chain comot for him neck, e come dey pursue you, na so you run o you enter road Julius berger truck jamb you, na so you kpai” he said admist laughter. I was surprise and shock. So the grave he was digging was meant for me?

What a lie. Car? We go market? Lion? I enter road? Julius berger? Haaaa! What a snt lienus he was. So if i died as he predicted this was the way i would be buried?

His words would have come true o. Because surely, groundnut and sachet water would be shared. And would my ghost remain silent and watch as groundnut is passed round? No! It would surely get up and slap the fellow that brought such silly idea. And that would be captain.

“so? Una believe am?” i asked getting angry.

“me i no believe am o but as i see you na im i fear. Dey guy say the car jamp you, na so e kill you , good samiratann come carry your dead body go mortuary . Na so he rush house come dig grave so later e go buy casket then go comot you from mortuary come bury for here” he said. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldnt believe my ears. Na so people dey take kill people o.k. No wonder Becky tear that kind race o. Why she no go Olympics? Atleast Nigeria for win iron, gold na small thing na, na iron be the deal. Is there any iron in the medals?

The idiot crawled out of the grave he was digging and sat on the edges staring at me. Becky, vicky, ngozi and Joe came out of the bush.

” captain which kind talk be that one” i asked moving over to him.

“blue na you? Na you? I think say you kpai? No be you” he said shifting back into the pit.

“no be me na your grand pale be this” i replied holding on to his wrist.

His eyes had fear in them. This guy was definitely mad, i mean a high definition madness. Couldn’t believe he shared such news and plus the way he acted made it look so real, as if i actually died. I even looked at myself to be sure i was still alive.

Legend says ghost feet dosent touch the ground, but mine was touching, i kicked a stone to be sure. Captain was still suffering from the current i gave him. Can’t believe the charge was so powerful. Maybe rated 30volts.

It dawned on me, he forseed my grave instead of his future or his mothers grave. The slap i gave him was for his future not my grave. And i was sure going to collect that.

I was snapped back from my reverie when sands were poured on my head by captain. Legend has it that if sand is poured on a ghost head, it will efface since it is bound to stay in sands.

Captain was verifying that theory on me, to verify if i was kill or alive. I was greatly infuriated by his act, i didn’t know when my hands landed on his bony cheeks.

He led out a deafening scream and fell into the pit, his hands clasp on his cheeks. Me sef fear the slap, it was loud like boko haram bomb. My hands became heavy and limp after the legendary slap. It was as if na concretei slapped.

That slap i was sure will correct his imaginations and help him look into his future, it will be clearer now.

” ekpo amiaa mkpaga ” English translation means.

” ghost slap me i no die”. He said in whispers.

Rock was laughing out his lungs. Legend has it that when a ghost slaps you, you are bound to die. But here was captain, alive and hearty, only wiggling in his grave, it was for him not me.

Joe approached me, his hands on his head.

” so you no die? Captain dey o”

” na who die? No allow make i give your own o ” i said and he took a step backward laughing.

She looked at me in pity and walked

out of the room shaking her head. To be sincere, I’ve seen a church that

had such name. I swear some church

names fit do make Satan fear. “are you coming?” i asked as she

went out. She looked back and…. Did

she just wink at me? Maybe i no look

am well. I went out of the room into the

corridor where captain rock stood

with ngozi. Wonder what they were

doing, abi their room no contain

them? Passed them and headed out

of the house, with one venue in my brain.