Stepping Into Maggie’s Shoes

Episode 19

The Church Driver was the one taking us home, so I couldn’t blurt out my feelings. I did not like the show of pretense Ray put up at the church. I didn’t know what was really eating him up, or was it because I was not a virgin?

The moment we got home and the driver left on foot, I said in submission, kneeling in front of him

“ Apostle, What have I done?, Ever since we got Married a week ago, you have not touched me except once, You have not eaten my food, you lock yourself up , Are you disappointed I am not a virgin?. I told you I lost my virginity during my days of ignorance…or is there something else?”
“ Hey, Happy… There is absolutely nothing you have done to me?” He said very kindly “You are not the problem, I am the one who has the problem”

“ What problem?”
“ It’s personal, I am seriously working on it, and that was why I got married to you, I felt marrying you will solve the problem, because of the strong attraction I had for you, but I guess the problem is something I have to live with for the rest of my life, I guess this is the thorn the Lord put in my flesh”
“ The Lord put a thorn in your flesh?” I asked

“ Yeah .. You know the type Apostle Paul wrote about and how he prayed several times to have it removed but God told him His Grace was sufficient for him..”
“OK?” I said expecting him to tell me what the problem was

“ Hmm… Are you sure you are ready to hear what it is…?”

“ Yes!, I am your wife!”
He held me by the hand and guided me to a seat…

“ Ever since I was a little child, I have had this problem, I always crave for something, but the moment I get it , I lose interest in it and I begin to crave for something else. For instance Anytime Mum took me to the mall and bought my siblings and I different biscuits, I might have been the one who choose my biscuit, but the moment I have it in my hands I lose interest in it. I will be interested in taking my siblings biscuits. Growing up, I always had my way as the only son among four girls, but now it has become a big problem….” he said and took a long pause, he looked very sad…

“ Ok?” I said as I didn’t understand where the story telling was heading to…
“ I believe you understand what the problem is? Right?” He asked
“ No!” I said because truly I was blank…
“ Ok… how do I say this? The thing is, my problem is that the moment I have something I have always craved for in my possession, I lose interest in it….” he said and kept quiet
I still did not get it, but I looked at his eyes deeply and like a brain jolt , I got it. Ray had a problem of liking what he owned. He no longer had interest in me because he was married to me…

I didn’t know what to do, I had tears flowing down my cheeks and the only question that came out of my mouth was
“ Was it the same with Pastor Maggie?”
“ Unfortunately Yes!, Maggie had to cope for those years, she was a strong believer who did not believe in divorce, so she stood by me. We only made love to have children which never came!” he said looking ashamed of himself

“ How would they have had children?” I thought madly in my Spirit

“Maggie knew this about me and knew all the women I had interest in, but the bad thing about this challenge of mine is the fact that my attraction is always towards women who belong to other men. I don’t get attracted to single ladies, but those who are engaged and married. That was why I was attracted to you in the first place. The fact that you belonged to Julius made me crave for you, but now that you are mine, I don’t find you attractive anymore” he said

“Jesus!” I screamed as I started walking around the living room in circles. My head was pounding and I heard voices laughing in my head.

“It is not as bad as it sounds, Maggie was able to cope, She was my best friend, I even encouraged her to have a boyfriend, but she would not bulge. She kept telling me I could overcome this… I prayed and she prayed but I am still the same. Happy, the reason I choose you above other girls is because I believe you will be able to cover me…You are the best person who can fill Maggie’s shoe” he said with a plea in his eyes

I felt like I had been cheated, I felt like I was duped, I felt I was defrauded. To think that Apostle married me to find a good accomplice to cover his sexual sin and not out of love tore my heart into pieces. I climbed up the stairs and went to my room. He did not bother to follow me…

I locked my door from within and cried all day long. I couldn’t sleep either. He came knocking at my door early in the morning but I refused to open.

Later that day, I decided I needed to have a cup of coffee to clear my head. I was shocked to see Apostle and Mrs Beecroft in the kitchen. Mrs Beecroft was the wife of the church treasurer, a well respected member of the church. She was in a very short gown. She was preparing coffee for Apostle…. I didn’t understand one bit what was happening…
“ Hello, Sister Happy, Good Morning…” She said

“ Good morning Ma!” I replied as I looked at her skimpy gown. I had never seen her in such a skimpy wear before..

“ Apostle said you were a bit ill, so I offered to come help you the way I used to help Pastor Maggie” she said

“ Ok ma, thanks.. but I am better now!” I said implying she should use the door and get out of my home.

“ You need a lot of rest!” Apostle said as he moved close to me as if to whisper something, Mrs Beecroft understood he wanted her out of the kitchen, so she left the kitchen and walked up the stairs to Apostle’s room…

“ I wanted to inform you earlier she was coming, that was why I was knocking, she is one of the women”

My legs buckled like someone wearing a high heel sandal, that broke unexpectedly …This Pastor Maggie’s shoe was beginning to show its issues, apart from it not been my size, it was showing tendencies of it being unreliable . I concluded the shoe had a faulty heel that was going to break my leg soon….

My God!