The Preacher Son

Episode 15

‘Garki, Mararaba, one man village e.t.c’, were some of the places conductors were busy shouting and dragging passengers to their various buses.

We entered a bus to Garki and then took a bike to my uncle’s place who was working as an executive in a construction company.
The lived in a self contain compound with a fence round the houses, when i saw my uncle’s wife i could not believe my eyes she was as fat as an elephant, but that was the same lady that was as slim as a HIV victim during their wedding, it was when i saw her finishing a tin of powdered milk in two days i believed ‘marriage good o’ i concluded.

My normal routine in the house was going on errands for my aunty, eating, washing dishes and watching movies. I had no one to play with because every couple in that estate were either newly married or had little babies or kids.
All that changed when our next door neighbour’s brought a boy from the village as a househelp his name was Chigozie.
Finally i had found someone to play with and i begged my uncle who bought us a rubber football the type that could break ones fingers if kicked with the toes but we did not care.
One day chigozie shot the ball which i dodged and it smashed on the wall and broke, i was sad but he told me not to worry that we should go to his house and get money to buy a new ball, i followed him to their sitting room while he went inside the room, the house was empty and we were the only ones around, after about two minutes he called me to come to the room, i asked him what the problem was but he said i should come see for myself.

What i saw turned my legs to jelly and my throat dried the only word i could muster was ‘i don die’. Chigozie was naked with his d!ck standing erect.

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‘Oya wake up go bath make we go church’
I looked at the time and it was 3:45am.
I started wondering if my uncle was an olumba olumba member that he wanted going to church by that early morning.

We finished preparing for church by 4:30am and he started driving to church.
We drove until i was wondering if my uncle was fellowshipping in a church in another state. The skyscrapers i saw that day made Jos look like a village to me, we finally reach his church and my mouth was open like i got struck with Parkinson disease.

‘Mehn this church fine o’ i stammered. To say the church was fine was an understatement, it was a master piece, i saw cars like people, it was so much i wondered if somebody can know his car if he comes back from the church service.
I looked at the name of the church again and saw Family Worship Center. I was just looking around and walking like i came from village.

My uncle was an usher in the church so he left us and went to his duty post while my mother and his wife went to drop her baby in the day care department because babies or children were not allowed into the main church, a mother would drop her child and collect a card number so that if the child is crying without rest maybe from hunger the child number would show in the main church and the mother whose number was shown on the screen would go and take care of the child and come back.

I was left alone and started turning round confused on where to go when i saw somebody that looked like Ngozi(i mentioned her in my Jos episode) so i ran out to her side.
‘Ngozi long time

’
She turned and i realized my mistake, i wanted turning back when i heard the most angelic ajebo voice that could put Ngozi to shame.
‘Its alright, my name is Peace and you?’
‘My name na, no my name is Peter’i quickly change my language also to Queens english.
‘Ok am going to my class can we go together’ she spoke again, i quickly shook my head and we went together, i avoided looking around too much to spoil my swags.
‘I must kiss this girl like Ngozi, i told myself, thinking like it was an easy thing to go around kissing girls.

When we got to our class i was looking like black sheep in a white mass of land, everybody were putting on either suit, jeans, chinos, sneakers etc, bu when i looked at myself i regretted why my father sew the cloth for me, i was putting on a black caftan and one God forsaken Fulani shoes, i felt like crying that moment.

I sat down and the service continued till testimony time, and the aunty told everyone that they must give a testimony each, everyone started their sweet tales of her God gave their father money to buy them clothes, Barbie dolls etc and when it was peace turn she said God had made her father buy her a ticket to Paris, i was like wow,wow,wow.

‘so na wetin i go come talk now in other not to fall my hands’ i thought sadly, until it got to my turn and i got up with my head empty of any ideas.

‘Praise the lord’
‘Haleluya’
‘My testimony for this week is that….’ i looked nervously until i said the one thing that entered my brain.